Baby #2. {No. I'm not pregnant}

I'm terrible at making decisions.

Well.
I actually make quite good decisions.

Rather, I struggle with confidence in my decisions.
As I often ponder and mull.
Go back and forth.
Discuss with a friend or two.
Then make sure to get a third and fourth opinion.
Until I finally reach a decision.
And then typically change my mind.

This drives most who love me absolutely bonkers.

I simply don't like options.
Because I like too many things.
A friend once accused me of having style identity confusion when trying to figure out how to decorate my house.

In fact, I'd rather go to the grocery store and have only one option for everything.
You can only imagine how I feel when I browse Pinterest.
And places like Babies R Us or Ikea?
Outright sends me into cardiac arrest.

This lack of confidence in my decision-making abilities is further perpetuated by the amount of information and *often unsolicited* advice thrown at you while pregnant.
Cry it out or attachment parenting. 
Breastfeed or formula feed.
Stay at home, work from home, part-time or full-time.

The differing options and opinions are downright maddening.

This is why I once *literally* hurled my Babywise and Healthy Sleep Habits books across the living room.
I was getting conflicting information.
*Not to mention I hadn't slept in 7 weeks.*
So the only logical thing for me at the time was to chuck both books across the room.
The sound they made as they crashed onto the wood floors was oh-so-satisfying.

Boom.
Decision made.

Then.
It only gets worse when you actually have the baby.
Because all mamas do things differently.
And even though we try not to, we sometimes look at others and think, Man, I would never let my kid ____________.
Until you yourself are in that situation.
And what do you know?
You're doing exactly what you said you would never do as a mother.

Don't lie.
You know you've {even if it was unintentional} judged critiqued someone else's parenting style.
You put your baby in a crib the first night? 
You mean to tell me you let your baby wear Target brand diapers?
You gave your baby a pacifier before she was 4 weeks old?

There really is no silver bullet in parenting.
We all know that.
Because there are so many ways to go about reaching the same end goal.
Which is, of course, to raise a healthy, independent, caring, and successful little human.

So after all those decisions to make during pregnancy.
Then even-more overwhelming decisions you're bombarded with during your baby's first year.
*I recently described the first year of Lyla's life as a year of survival while simply trying to keep your baby alive and your sanity nearby.*

Then.
You are welcomed with the next big decision.

That may not even be on your personal radar.
But there's no avoiding the question from everyone around you.
And the fact that approximately 97% of your friends are pregnant.

So when are you going to start trying for #2?

Holy heavens.
Is anyone else out there experiencing a larger than life baby boom?

I thought my year of 13 weddings was bad.
However, it has officially been topped by the year of one million pregnancies.

I'd be lying if I said every time a new friend announced her pregnancy {which so far has been averaging about every 5 days for the past several months} I didn't feel a slight twinge of baby fever.
In fact.
If I'm completely honest, I had *major* baby fever about 5 or 6 months ago.

Until life finally got easy again.
Really easy.
And actually normal.
We are having such a fun time with this age.
And we love giving all of our attention to Lyla.
And just Lyla.

For right now at least.

Because things are so calm and wonderful at the moment, Gabe sometimes mentions the appeal of having an only child.
That way our hearts are not divided.
I, however, immediately and completely squash the thought.
As I am an only child.
And I do not want Lyla to be an only child.
*God-willing of course*

At any rate.
I don't think our family will quite feel complete until we have another.
I actually understand why some families have 5 or 6 kids.
The thought of a large family seems so appealing.
Because there is nothing like parenthood.
Especially during the newbie stage.
And this stage too.
And word on the street is that every stage just gets better and better.

But Gabe reminds me that as appealing as it may be to have a large clan, the two of us aren't quite cut out for a large family.

And it's true.
We like things simple.
And clean.
And easy-ish.

But many times, God has plans in store that aren't necessarily our plans.
And I try to remember that.
He is in control.
Wholly and completely.

That being said.
Our plans are to enjoy and freeze-frame this exact moment.
With our one and only sweet little lady.

So although #2 is on the radar.
We're wanting to hang on to easy.
For just a bit longer.

Ly, however, keeps reminding us that she is in fact ready to be a big sis.