Monday, May 30, 2011

Memoir Monday: Crazy-Town

Memoir Monday

I really do apologize my blogging has fallen by the wayside the past couple months. I can't help it. There has been so much going on, and unfortunately, le blog gets the brunt of it.

Ya know when you have an overwhelming to-do list and you don't quite know where to begin or how to even tackle the darn thing? Well, feels the same for the blog. So many stories. So many pictures to share. One HUGE to-do list. And I've let it slide for so long, that I'm not even sure what to share anymore.

So, I figured I'd try to catch the caboose and hop back on the Memoir Monday train.

And I thought it was highly appropriate to continue documenting the happenings of our trip to Rhode Island. As mentioned in my last post, it was one crazy weekend. Like full-moon, Friday-the-13th, end-of-the-world-is-coming, this-would-only-happen-to-us crazy.

Even in addition to the whole food poising situation (which by the way made it to the top story of the evening news - check it out here. And the woman being interviewed is our friend...a.k.a. the groom's mother), a few more...interesting events occurred.

More events that made us giggle and pinch ourselves while asking, "Is this real life?":

1). In the middle of the whole food poisoning saga, I went out to go buy some gatorade and Immodium for my green-faced boys. I was already quite flustered because they both kept racing to the bathroom, and I was worried they were getting dehydrated. So, I borrowed my friend's car, backed out the driveway, and suddenly realized the parking break was on. I couldn't find it to save my life. I searched everywhere! I called her frantically and she tried to guide me to the silly break. Meanwhile, while still in the middle of the street, there is a marathon going on and runners are literally dodging my car. One runner nearly hit me. I made quite the spectacle, I'm sure. To continue with the theme of good luck, I finally found the break and made it out of the neighborhood, only to discover a bumper-to-bumper traffic jam. I just needed GATORADE gosh-darn-it!

2). The day after the wedding, we were all hanging out talking and laughing about the events of the previous day when one of the gals receives a text from the groom's mom. It said, "Do any of you have a key to the bride and groom's house? The best man locked all three keys inside!"


So, the best man (groom's brother) was given the responsibility of house/cat-sitting. The first day of his sitting duties, within the first twenty minutes, he locked all three keys in the house. Meanwhile, the bride and groom are on a plane to Mexico.

After laughing so hard we nearly tinkled ourselves, we walked over to the bride and groom's and resolved the breaking into their house.

3). On their way back home from dinner one night, Mr. Ruby decided to take Mr. F's Nissan 350 Z for a spin. The boys came to a stoplight. Within a split-second of the stoplight turning green, a jeep began impatiently blaring its horn.

It startled Mr. Ruby, who subsequently stalled the car in the middle of the intersection. The angry jeep-driver behind them honked again and sped up next to Mr. Ruby and Mr. F driving so close, he nearly ran them off the road.

Mr. Ruby, who never, EVER has road rage casually flipped the jeep driver the bird.

Oh dear. Wrong move.

The boys stopped at another stop light, and this time, the jeep driver pulled up next to them.

He rolled down his window.

The boys rolled down their window.

Jeep Driver: What's the beepin problem

Mr. F: Nothing, man. We accidentally stalled the car.

Jeep Driver: (Veins bulging) Well why don't you get out of the beepin car, and I'm going to snap you're beepin neck!

Mr. F: Dude, relax. It was an accident.

Jeep Driver: You guys packin? What a bunch of wimps. Let's go. Get out of the car!

Other words were spoken. But, you get the idea.

Mr. Ruby drove off the moment the light turned green.

I mean, who let that crazy out of the loonie-bin?!?!

4). Finally, it was time to head home. Although we were quite sad to leave our compadres, we were ready for the crazy-town weekend to be over! So, we loaded up the car, and our friends drove us over an hour to the Boston airport. In the middle of rush-hour traffic.

We wipe our tears (literally), say our goodbyes, and wave "sianara" to one twilight-zone-of-a-weekend. Our friends leave. We stand in line. We talk about what we're going to have for dinner. We get to the ticket counter. The woman asks us our destination.

Without a flinch she says, "Yeah. You're not making it out tonight."

Mr. Ruby presents multiple scenarios, and the woman repeats herself, "You're not making it out tonight."


We call our friends. They turn around. In the middle of Boston rush-hour traffic. 45 minutes later, after making it more than half-way home, they pick us up.

I mean, after the kind of weekend we had, why WOULD we make it home like planned?

All of us were crying we were laughing so hard.

Definitely a weekend to remember!

Looking back at some of the happier moments of our trip:

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Pick Your Title - You WON'T believe this


"Is this real life?"

"Judgement Day: May 2011"

"Rhode Island: The small place where BIG things happen"

Any of the above titles will suffice, really.

Because all of these words came out of our mouths this past weekend. Multiple times.

What happened to us only happens in the movies, specifically the movie Bridesmaids.

It felt like a really crazy dream where we kept pinching ourselves to see if what was going on around us was truly happening.

And now, we are all famous. In fact, our story was just on the news.

This is how the story goes (Warning: Details get a little graphic)...

May 21, 2011: Wedding Day of our Dear Friends

6:30 a.m. - I wake up because the bed moved abruptly. I see Mr. Ruby sprint out of the guest bedroom where we were staying. He was in the nude. I giggled to myself and thought, "Why the heck is he running into the hallway naked?"

6:32 a.m. - I check my text messages. I realize I've received two in the middle of the night. One said, "Are you guys sick? We have been puking and pooping all night. I'm pretty sure it's food poisoning." I read the other text, "I just pooped myself, please tell me you don't have this too."

6:37 a.m. - I run to the bathroom to check on Mr. Ruby. He's been in there awhile. I ask, "Hon, are you not feeling well?" He replies, "I'm ok". And I say, "Well, I think all of our friends are sick, they've been puking all night." He sighs with relief and yells, "GOOD. Because I just puked my brains out."

6:38 a.m. - I realize we have a very serious problem.

6:40 a.m. - I run into our friends' bedroom to ask if they are sick and if they've received the text messages. Yes they received the texts. No, they were not sick...yet.

6:41 a.m. - Mr. Ruby emerges from the bathroom looking like death.

6:45 a.m. - Our phones start blowing up. We are all on the phone talking to different members of the wedding party. Everyone has been up all night deathly ill...including the groom.

6:50 a.m. - Mr. Ruby runs to the bathroom again.

6:51 a.m. - Mr. F (host of where we were staying), states that he all of a sudden doesn't feel well. Mrs. F chalks it up to staying up too late and drinking too much.

6:52 a.m. - Mr. F runs to the bathroom.

6:53 a.m. - I run to Mrs. F and yell, "Hold me" as we were the only ones at this point not ill. We both look at each other and say, "Is this really happening?"

7:00 a.m. - All the girls, including those who were very sick, headed to the salon to get ready for the wedding festivities.

The rest of the morning/afternoon was spent running around getting gatorade, Immodium, and taking care of poor Mr. Ruby and Mr. F as I was not in the wedding party nor was I sick. One would get up, sprint to the bathroom, and spend a good 20 minutes getting everything out of his system. Then, the other one would turn, look at me, and run to do the exact same thing.

This happened about 30 times that day.

Both were literally green.

Neither could keep a thing down. Including water.

The house smelled like 45 rotting corpses.

A couple of times, I thought I might need to take the boys to the hospital. Things were looking grim.

The situation at the salon wasn't looking any better. The girls who were sick had to make multiple trips to the bathroom. Neither could stand. Both were dizzy. Both had been up ALL NIGHT. Not a wink of sleep.

But everyone rallied. Everyone did their best to make the wedding a spectacular event. And they did a fantastic job. The maid of honor gave an amazing speech, despite her lack of sleep and torn up insides. The groomsmen made it down the isle...well, most of them at least. The boys had to go downstairs to lie down every 15 minutes. One groomsman didn't make it down the isle. Mr. Ruby left during the vows...and didn't return to the wedding at all. But everyone tried their best and did a darn fine job all things considered.

Believe it or not, this was the shortened version.

Let's just say everyone was REALLY sick. Scarily sick.

The next day, we discussed the situation. We just figured it was the rehearsal dinner from the previous evening. But the more we talked, the more we realized that out of 30 people, it was too much of a coincidence that only our group of friends got sick and no one else from the rehearsal dinner. And we had all eaten at a sushi restaurant the night before (24-30 hours prior to everyone getting sick). The only weird thing about that is that I also ate off the SAME plate as everyone who got sick, and I did not get sick.

We called the department of health to report the incident.

A couple of days and stool samples later, and we've come to a final conclusion.

Today: May 26, 2011.

The samples were tested positive for the Norovirus.

And the restaurant we ate at got shut down.

And this will all be on the news this evening. The groom's mother was interviewed.

The reasons found by investigators? Are you ready for this?

  • Mouse droppings were found in flour, jimmies and noodles and on the doilies on which sushi is served.
  • Vinegar was being stored in container previously used for laundry detergent.
  • Rice was kept at room temperature in a turned-off cooker.
  • The restaurant does not employ a full-time manager certified in food safety.
  • A microwave had dried food accumulation.
  • Tubular lights were lacking shields
  • Scooters, toys, powder and wipes were found in the kitchen area, suggesting that a child was allowed in the kitchen area and diapers were changed there.
Oh, and three employees were tested positive for the norovirus.

See the full article here.

The following days after the sickness, we all began to laugh about it. That's all you can really do. It's just a terrible shame it all happened right before our friends' wedding. Hopefully one day they can look back and laugh too.

But we are all still trying to process the situation. Rat poop? Baby diapers. Oh. my. goodness. I'm never eating again. Ever.

The ominous dinner.

I know this is exploitation. But I had to document the sheer rawness of the food poisoning.

And apparently I have a stomach made of STEEL. How did I not get this?!?!

Do you want the good news or the bad news?

Today, I'm going to focus on the good news.

Don't worry. You will also hear the bad-yet-we-will-all-look-back-and-laugh-someday news. But, I'm saving that one for my next post.

I'm going to focus only on the good right now.

And by good, I mean REALLY good.

We just got back from one amazing trip to Rhode Island.

The moment we stepped off the plane, it felt like no time had passed. Felt like we never left. Caught up with old friends. Reminisced. Laughed hysterically. Like, I truly tinkled a few times. We visited some favorite places. And we attended an exquisite wedding. Literally perfect. Stunning bride. Made-for-each-other couple. And details that demonstrated the bride's previous experience as a wedding planner - everything from the handmade programs, homemade groom's cupcakes, and changing into a reception dress made from her mother's wedding gown!

Everything about it reflected the couple.

I really love that.

Congratulations to the newlyweds who are soaking up some rays in the Mayan Riviera!!! :)

In case you didn't notice, there is only one picture of Mr. Ruby and I. There is an explanation. Believe me.

To be continued...

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Hey. How did you get here?

So, I was strolling out of the gym this morning thinking about my huge to-do list, when I got to my car and realized that my keys weren't in my pocket.

I panicked.

Looked in the car through the window. Nope. Not there.

So, I backtracked and eventually found them. In a crevice of my workout machine.

Then, I went back to my car. Still thinking about that darn to-do list. And you will not believe what I saw.

A Del's Frozen Lemonade cup. Just chillin, right there in the YMCA parking lot.

I stood there in disbelief. I just couldn't believe it.

Now, why was this little cup so surprising? Well, there is some MAJOR significance to this seemingly insignificant cup just rolling around in the street.

Significance #1. Del's Frozen Lemonade is THE Rhode Island summer drink. I had never heard of it until we moved there. EVERYONE knew of Del's (well, everyone but us Kansas folk). I am pretty sure you can only get it in Rhode Island. Or at least New England. And well, I am currently in Kansas.

Our first Del's Experience - first summer living in RI

Significance #2. We will actually BE in Rhode Island in exactly 24 hours. Woop. Woop. It's hard to believe it's been 5 months since we moved. But what are the odds that we are leaving tomorrow morning for Rhode Island and I find a piece of sweet RI paraphernalia in the parking lot of my gym in Kansas?!?!

Significance #3. We are going to RI for a a dear couple friend's wedding this weekend. And we were actually present for the couple's engagement last Fourth of July. Right after the engagement, we all celebrated by getting some Del's Lemonade, and I asked the driver if we could take a picture with his truck.

Coincidence? I think not.

What an amazing start to my day though. I'd like to think of it as God's way of saying, "Get ready, this is going to be one heckuva weekend."

And on that note. I am beyond excited to see my Little Rhody FAMILY!!!

And, I may even get to sneak in a Del's Lemonade or two. ;)