**It's actually probably more accurate to say Gabe and I survived Lyla's first ER visit.**
I must say, I was surprisingly more calm than I imagined.
That's not to say that I was actually calm, just calmer than I imagined...rushing my 3 week old baby to the hospital.
The story goes like this...
We were hanging out in our yard because our "backyard neighbor" was dying to hold the babe. He held her for a few minutes, but she was superbly fussy because, well, Chunkin's gotta eat.
He gave her back to me.
I turned around to go back inside.
Stepped on a nail in our garden bed.
The sucker went right through my shoe.
I tripped and fell over.
Right into a fence.
And my sweet newborn's head got the brunt of my fall.
A golfball-size goose egg began immediately forming on her little head...and it turned purple. Lyla began screaming. Gabe took her from me, and I just started sobbing. And sobbing. Words can't describe how hard it is to see your baby in so much pain.
We went inside, and I sat down to try to feed her while Gabe called our pediatrician. Lyla would eat for a minute and then start wailing. And although desperately trying not to, I was crying too.
Gabe, per usual, was extremely calm and kept reassuring me that babies are resilient and kids bop their heads all the time.
Then, he turned insta-serious once he got off the phone with our pediatrician.
He looked at me and said, "We have to go...now."
The doctor told him that we needed to go to the hospital for a possible CT scan to ensure there was no internal bleeding or skull fracture. (Since the bump was so large and had turned purple so quickly...and since she is so young).
My heart literally sank.
I sat in the backseat and held my baby's hands while she cried and cried.
And I was praying. Hard. Begging God to please protect my baby and please not let there be anything wrong with her brain. I kept trying to pray the fear away. Kept realizing this situation was completely out of my hands.
Gabe stayed silent. And I knew he was scared. I also knew the thoughts that were swarming his mind. Because they were swarming mine as well.
We felt so helpless.
We got to the hospital, and they took all her vitals while she continued to cry.
They checked us in *fairly* quickly...although not quick enough for a terrified mother and father.
After waiting awhile, Lyla finally fell asleep in my arms. Then the doctor came in, examined her, poked her bump a little too hard for my liking (I know he was just trying to help...but ouch!), and asked us a bunch of questions.
Finally, he told us he was 100% certain there was no concussion, no head trauma, no skull fracture, and really no concern. The fact that 1). Lyla cried immediately after the hit, 2). She ate after the hit, and 3). She eventually fell asleep were all signs that guarantee no concern. Plus, it hit her in a "good" spot where there is unlikely to be a concussion. And, ironically, the fact that she is a newborn helped her because her skull is still so soft and is less likely to fracture.
I began crying...again. But this time, I was crying out of relief. And gratefulness.
The doctor came over and grabbed my hand and said, "And I hate to say it, but this is one of many head bumps and trips to the ER."
I sort of laughed. And I knew he was right.
We all breathed a sigh of relief.
I thanked God the entire ride home.
And I realized that we have absolutely NO control over any situation with our daughter. Like the doctor said, there will be many scares, many challenges as a parent. I must relinquish full control to the Lord. And I must trust that he has her in his hands.
He's got the whole world in his hands, right?
The thought of surrendering your little one is terrifying. Especially if your'e a control-freak like me. But it is also comforting at the same time.
But I am so thankful that we came out of this situation A-OK.
And, hey, at least we got our first major scare out of the way just three weeks in to this whole parenting thing!
Exhausted after a long, traumatic day. So innocent.
“But as for me, I trust in You, O LORD; I say, “You are my God. My times are in Your hand.”
“But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.”