Sunday, December 6, 2009

Am I living one really awkward dream?

I've said it so many times.

I am a glutton for everything awkward.

If anything unlucky, awkward, or embarrassing is going to happen to someone, 9 out of 10 times it will be me.

Awkward moments seek me out. Like one unmistakable bulls eye.

Are you ready for this one?

I'm sure no one will be surprised.

But this tops it all.

The scene: Wine and Cheese Christmas Party. Just over 30 guests. We knew about half of them. Lots of food. Beautiful apartment. One bathroom.

So, I have been feeling incredibly nauseous (no, not for the reason you're thinking) lately. I've always struggled with tummy issues. I'm sure you recall my birthday incident.

Well, we've been so excited for this party, and I decided to suck it up and at least go for a little while. Bad, bad idea. We arrived, and I couldn't resist all the delicious appetizers: greasy, creamy, chocolaty...all delicious.

A small group of us were standing around talking when my stomach did a little gurgle...and then dropped.

So, I rushed to the bathroom. I got rather sick and started to feel really panicky because I didn't want anyone to notice I was in the bathroom for too long. (Little did I know that would be the absolute least of my problems).

So, I went to flush the toilet. I accidentally and simultaneously hit the Glade spray can and the lid flew off and landed in the toilet while it was flushing.

I watched the stupid thing flush before my eyes.

Crap.

Literally.

I panicked even more. The lid was nowhere in sight...so I tried flushing a few more times. The toilet got temperamental and started to overflow.

I stood there for a minute thinking about what in the world I was going to do.

Sweating with utter embarrassment, I went to tell the host (my friend) about the incident. She just laughed and said..."Only you."

So, she gathered up a few guys (whom I can never ever again show my face to...besides good ol' Mr. Ruby) went into the bathroom with pliers, hangers, and any other tool they could rummage up to try to get that sucker out. No such luck.

Talk about a scene.

The worst part?

From that point forward, everyone had to go to the bathroom OUTSIDE in the BACKYARD because I ruined their only bathroom. Oh, and it was snowing.

I mean, really?

13 comments:

~Mrs. Guru~ said...

You poor thing. hope you feel better soon.

Bonanza said...

oh ang bonange. HUGSSSSSSSSS!!

Alison said...

Oh my goodness you poor thing!!!

Sarah Ann said...

Ugh I HATE it when there is only one bathroom for so many people! My husband's mom's house only has one bathroom and while it's bad enough that I have a sensitive stomach, its even worse that my brother in law does too! So it seriously seems like sometimes we are rotating turns in the bathroom. If we can make it there in time! I once had to leave to find another bathroom. So don't feel too bad. You're not alone.

tootie said...

Oh my goodness! This sounds like something that would happen to me!

Mary Michal said...

Oh my goodness...I hope you're feeling better.

LauraAnn said...

Oh my gosh! You poor thing!!!!

Freck said...

Oh nooo!! This is awful!! Bathroom situations are so awkward!!!

kendrasue said...

I don't know what it is about my sis-in-laws house but every time i am over there my stomach misbehaves. Uber-embarassing.

Cary Dale Taylor said...

Oh NO!!!! That is horrible. You win the award for worst Christmas party experience of the year.

Tiffany said...

Oh bless your heart! SO something that would happen to me! Hope you feel better soon!

Crazy Shenanigans said...

Oh my goodness. I would have been mortified. I don't know what I would have done!

Lauren said...

oh we have total opposite problems!! love you, ang!