Friday, May 2, 2014

Deja Vu.

Thank you, blog, for always being there.
I can always count on you to bring me nostalgia.

I am so incredibly happy I jotted down my thoughts the week I found out I was pregnant {again}. I love to remember the exact feelings I have at significant moments in time. Because it's funny sad how you start to forget the details even after a few days.

So. Thank you, blog.

Written February 19, 2014. {Lyla's 18 Month Birthday}. 

Last Wednesday started off as the most ordinary of days.

Woke up before my alarm.
Tossed and turned to try to get an 20 extra minutes of sleep.
Cursed myself for watching Netflix until 11:30.

Decided to finally roll out of bed around 5:40 a.m.

I hopped in the shower.
Said my morning prayers.
Reviewed the day's to-do's in my head.
Ate breakfast and packed my lunch.

It was two days before Valentine's Day.
And although the day itself was ordinary, something felt a bit different.
Extraordinary almost.

I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was.
Maybe I was just excited for our upcoming Valentine stay-at-home seafood date night.
Or maybe I was happy because it was almost Friday.

And then it dawned on me.
I'm about to start my "favorite" time of the month. Yes, that's it. I always feel a little off. 
Speaking of, when should I be expecting that?
So, I went and checked my trusty iPhone app.
Your period is due today

This wouldn't have raised even the slightest of questions pre-Lyla when my cycle was all over the place. But post-Lyla, my body has been like clockwork. I had a brief moment where I thought, What if I'm...? No. There's no way.

And I didn't really give it another thought.
Well, that is, until Gabe offered to make me our usual morning coffee. Suddenly, that feeling washed over me. It's a feeling I can't really explain. And one that I've only ever felt one other time in my life - the morning I found out I was pregnant with Lyla.

No physical feelings or symptoms.
Just straight up deep-in-my-gut I-just-know feeling.

I convinced myself I was loony-toony, but quickly assured myself I'd pick up a pregnancy test at Target while I ran my Wednesday lunch break errands.
Just to be sure, I thought.

My gut-feeling took over on and off throughout the day.
Internally, I was poking fun and laughing at my neuroses.
Angela, there's no way. Gabe had poison ivy for a week {yes, for a fourth time this year}, and then we were sick for another two weeks. Just no way. 

Besides, I wasn't quite ready for #2 just yet. Our plan is was to begin trying late spring early summer. You know, so we could pay off a little more debt, get in a little better shape, and get a little better mentally prepared for a family of four.
You're a wack-a-doo, Angela. Besides, you aren't ready for TWO yet. 

So, I picked up Lyla from daycare and started dinner right when I got home.
Gabe walked in the door, told me dinner smelled delicious, and changed his clothes because he was having beer with the boys that evening.
He walked back in the kitchen, and I incoherently blurted out that I was going to go take a pregnancy test before he left because I just had a feeling.
He laughed and assured me I wasn't pregnant but to "do what I needed to do".
{I love that my man loves me despite my default psychotic tendencies.}

The next few minutes were unexciting, unromantic, and anticlimactic.

I peed on a stick with no anticipation.
In fact, I'm pretty sure I was thinking about the RSVP's I needed to make to some upcoming showers and birthdays.

Then I saw the little clock ticking.
I quickly read the test directions {after I had already begun the test}, and they said that the little clock signified the test was working. And I suddenly felt like my stomach was in my throat. Because although I was just sure that I wasn't...what if I was???

I left the bathroom. Played with Lyla. Chatted with Gabe. And nonchalantly went back to the bathroom.
I slowly crept up to the test. Peered over the sink. And stood there in complete silence and shock.


Oh that word, YES.  
It stared me down, mocked me, and practically screamed back at me, "nanny, nanny, boo-boo."

I began to laugh. I laughed so hard, I nearly cried. And for a brief second, I had a moment of clarity. I thought I should totally save this special news for Valentine's Day. You know, let Gabe enjoy his boy's night. Besides, that's only 2 days of keeping a secret {from the one person whom I share ev.ery.thing.}

But of course I couldn't contain myself.
I ran to the kitchen, waved the test in the air, and hysterically laughed out the words, I'm pregnant!!!

I'm pretty sure Gabe's initial reaction was, How? But very quickly followed by a huge smile, a kiss and this is great news! how exciting! I love you! He then swooped up Lyla and said you're going to be a big sister!

Much different than his reaction the first time around.

I wanted to freeze that exact moment in time.
It felt like an out-of-body experience. Yet so completely natural.

I'm pregnant.


And I am acutely aware of how very blessed we are. Being thankful doesn't even begin to appropriately illustrate the feelings of gratitude I have toward our little blessing.

Baby number two is on the way.

Although I've had a little time to process this news, it still feels unreal. And comforting all at the same time. There's just something about being pregnant with our second that makes me feel whole. It's like our little family is complete.

Greens, party of four. 
That sure has a nice ring to it.


Jessica said...

Love this! Congrats

Meggie @ My Grace-Full Life said...

Congrats Angela! Funny enough Feb 12th is the exact day we found out about our #2- due October 21. Hope pregnancy is treating you well!

Amanda said...

Love this story! I found myself feeling that "excited nervous" feeling FOR you as I was reading this. Things never turn out as we plan them, but usually they're BETTER than how we plan them, right?

Carolyn said...

OMG! YAY!!! Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Such a cute story!!

Kristin said...

Totally teared up at Gabe's reaction! I am so excited for your family!!!!

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

Awwww, congrats!