Thursday, January 30, 2014

More than a Pretty Face

It was a pivotal moment for my fourth grade dream to one day become a beautiful actress. 

We were on our second round of The Babysitters Club Game
My older, tall and lean, olive-skinned neighbor friend drew her playing card:
If you had to choose between being really pretty or really smart, which would you choose?

And do you know what she said?
Well, I'd much rather be pretty. But since I'm already really pretty, I guess I'd choose to be smart.

I can't be sure, but I'm almost positive I threw my game piece at her face.
Or maybe I just thought about it. 

{Way to encourage intelligence, drive, and self-esteem, Milton Bradley.} 

Either way, that was a defining moment for me. 
From that point forward, in my own fourth grade understanding, I knew that I never wanted my self-worth to be tied to appearance. 
And I was also quite confident that it was possible to be pretty and smart. 

That being said, I am no women's right activist. 
I would never think about burning my bras. {They're way too expensive}. 
Nor do I have the hopes to one day show all my male corporate counterparts who's the boss. 
And I'm definitely not the girl who never wears makeup and rarely shaves her armpits.

Eww.

But I do have a problem with our celebrity-obsessed culture of trying to achieve fictional perfection. We're trying to look like someone we're not. Buying clothes that we can't afford. And putting way more focus on how we look than who we are. 

Take the other night for example. We were chatting with a friend's girlfriend who is a high school teacher at an all-girl school in Australia. Her class had to complete an assignment on their biggest hero - a woman whom they looked up to and wanted to emulate. She was so excited to get their responses, being that she's a history teacher. But nearly the entire class wrote about Miley Cyrus or Kim Kardashian. I'm sorry. What?

And I'll take this moment to go right ahead and confess. I totally get sucked into the addictive Kardishian vortex from time to time. But heroes? Hardly. 

And now we have this daughter. A 17 month old who is the girliest of girls. And I secretly LOVE that about her. I adore that she enjoys being in the kitchen and loves accessories just as much as her mom. I love that she squeals when it's time to pick out her shoes and pretends to put on mom's makeup. And I am absolutely smitten by our mother-daughter relationship. Just thinking of our future girls-only shopping trips, hair tip exchanges, slumber parties, boy advice, and prepping for school dances makes me positively giddy. And I don't think there's anything in this whole world more fun than dressing my little girl. 

Toddler fashion is an addiction, I tell you. 


However. And I do mean a giant HOWEVER, it is our goal to teach Lyla that beauty is more than just being pretty. So much more. It's using your imagination, learning, trying new things, exploring, accomplishing, being a good friend, embracing unique, nurturing a relationship with God, and loving, helping and accepting others.

We want her to know true beauty.


But truth be told, this concept is often difficult to instill within girls. Because from an early age, they are bombarded with a false sense of beautiful. Someone once challenged me to think about "small talk" I make with little girls versus little boys. And it's so true. When you see a little girl, the first thing you say is, what an adorable dress or you have the prettiest eyes or you are so beautiful! And of course I can't help but feel a twinge of pride when I hear how cute my kid is, but I also want to hear how smart/helpful/interesting she is!! 


So even though I am quite frankly obsessed with being a girl mom, I want to try really hard to encourage more than twirling in tutus. I mean, let's be honest, Lyla will never be a rough and tumble kind of gal. But it makes me so happy that one of her favorite things to play with is her buddy's toy cars. Or that she is so proud when she rolls or throws a ball, in that awkward toddler kind of way. Or that she spends 45 minutes figuring out how to fit pieces of something together.

Those things are just as fun as dolls and pretties {GiGi's word for jewelry}. 


So in addition to learning about how to do a mean fishtail braid or 6 ways to tie a scarf, we will also learn about history and nature and language and cultures. Because what's a pretty face without a big ol' brain to back it up?!?!

Needless to say, I'm beyond thrilled that one of the hot topics in education is placing more importance on STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math) subjects in elementary school - especially with girls! There's a huge gender gap when it comes to STEM careers, and this movement hopes to lend support for a more balanced workforce. Despite the fact {or maybe in spite of the fact} that I was absolutely terrible in all STEM subjects, I am a full supporter of this influence. These subjects are crucial, and in the past, girls have not always been encouraged to pursue or even explore them. But luckily that mentality is changing because some of my most inspirational friends are gorgeous engineers!

Of course I'll be proud no matter the path Lyla decides to take in life. If she decided to paint herself purple and call herself an artist, I'd be showing off her work to everyone I knew. But I also think it would be pretty awesome if she turned out to be an electrical engineer. Or a neuroscientist. Or a financial planner. 

And if she ever has to complete an assignment about her biggest hero, I'd be super stoked if she said someone like Debbie Sterling. Talk about inspiring. I am absolutely obsessed with Debbie's cause - to get more girls to tap into their engineering strengths through Goldiblox, the cutest girliest construction set toys for girls. 

But seriously, have you seen the marketing for these things?

   

There is sheer brilliance in engaging kids at an early age in not-so-fun subjects. And that is exactly why I retracted my teasing comments for my husband when he came home with a turtle game geared at toddlers to teach them the basics of computer programming. As much grief as I gave him, I actually see the value in this clever little game.

Besides, you never know. Maybe one day a high school girl will have reason to write about Lyla as her hero.
And {God-willing} it won't be because of how she looks in a mini skirt.
But because of her real beauty, as evidenced by her scientific and mathematical talents.

**Edited to add: My bestie just informed me that Goldiblox will be a featured commercial during the Super Bowl. Uh. Big deal. SO HAPPY for them!!!



3 comments:

Shoshanah said...

I've loved Golide Blocks too ever since they're commercial first went viral. And definitely got far more excited then necessary when I saw their Super Bowl commercial. They are definitely the type of toy I would have loved growing up, and only hope they're successful even so when I have a daughter they're still around for her.

And I'm pretty sure I had that exact same BSC board game!

Shoshanah said...

I've loved Golide Blocks too ever since they're commercial first went viral. And definitely got far more excited then necessary when I saw their Super Bowl commercial. They are definitely the type of toy I would have loved growing up, and only hope they're successful even so when I have a daughter they're still around for her.

And I'm pretty sure I had that exact same BSC board game!

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

I saw their commercial during the super bowl! Very cool. Also shame on all those moms that their girls said they wanted to be Miley and Kim. They need to teach them what being a lady is really like.