Saturday, February 21, 2009

Likely Travel Neighbors

Well, I made it back from yet another trip. I was in Bloomington, IL to attend the Illinois State career fair. It was much more successful than the last one! I even got the chance to see one of my best buds from college who recently moved to Chicago. We had a fabulous time catching up and eating Mexican food and ice cream. :)


So, I'm one of those people who simply does not have good luck. With anything really. I never win...ever. The most awkward situations always find their way to me. I embarrass myself all the time. And I'm a medical anomaly - I've had some of the oddest medical issues that even doctors can't comprehend.  (We'll save that for another blog). So, it's safe to say that when I'm traveling, at least 2 of every 3 flights, it's inevitable for me to sit next to someone unenjoyable.

The following are a list of travel neighbors I've had the pleasure of sharing flights with. I'm sure with my luck, the list will continue to grow.

1). The Snorer - To wake him or not to wake him is the question. This is one of those situations where YOU actually start to feel embarrassed because the poor chap next to you is snoring so loud that people are glaring. Not to mention you can't even hear yourself think...let alone get any reading done.

2). The Talker - I've mentioned this before. When I fly, I like to either sleep or read. Notice that talking is not on my agenda. However, I often times get stuck next to individuals that have this undeniable desire to talk to me. About anything. Where they're going, their marriage, their job, their health problems, their 16th birthdays  etc. etc. These definitely make for long flights.

3). The Starer - You ever have that feeling when you just KNOW someone is staring at you? Try sitting next to that starer. I have. I had someone who looked over my shoulder while I read. So, I decided to take a nap. When I peeped one of my eyes open...he was STARING at me. SO creepy.

4). The Salesman - This may be the WORST of all. Yep, I think it is. I sat next to this man that spent our 2 and a half hour flight trying to first sell me wireless technology something-or-other. Then, he moved on to say "actually how would YOU like to work for me? I can guarantee you will make DOUBLE what you're making now." First of all, he had no idea how much I made. Secondly, he wore elastic polyester pants and velcro shoes. I'm not about to 1. buy anything from this man 2. DEFINITELY not even THINK about working for this man.

5). The Sickie - I've sat next to plenty of neighbors who hacked and sneezed...all over me. This of course is why I devoutly take my EmergenC before any flight. I'm not kidding, one time my neighbor sneezed, and I felt a snot droplet on my hand. Sick. Literally.

6). The Scaredy-Cat - Haha. This one is actually sort of humorous. I've sat next to a couple of people who were scared to death of flying. They kept gasping, squealing and would often times forget to breathe. Oh, and one of them kept putting her arms out as if to protect herself from falling. I actually had one colleague who sat next to a Scaredy-Cat that held his HAND the entire flight. How awkward!

7). The Smelly-Cat - Unfortunately, I've had the Smelly-Cat a few too many times. Even on my last flight. This is a person who simply has not bathed...maybe ever. I had one that smelled like cigarettes dipped in poo. I thought I was going to gag for an entire hour and a half.

8). The Drunk - The name says it all. You know, that person sitting next to you who has about 7 too many bourbon and sodas. The one who starts sitting on the man behind her, yelling at the girl across from her, slurring and cursing like a sailor. Yeah, I think we've all experienced that one.


Wearing Mascara said...

LOL This post cracks me up! I need to know all these types of people because I'm flying to Boston next week. Eek!!!! lol

RachB said...

MRS RUBY-! You are so funny! I love this!!!! My Saturday is consisting of catching up on your fun blog!

Piper Jacquelyn said...

That's so funny! I have similar problems - mine usually want to talk about themselves the whole time, ugh!

Kyla said...

Haha, that's too funny :)

I've never been on an airplane, but I'll def. keep this in mind incase I ever get to go anywhere! Ha!

Megan said...

Oh I LOVE this list..!

Allison said...

This post made me laugh so hard, girl! Seriously, I've sat next to most of those on the plane at one point or another, but never thought to categorize them :) Great job!

Amber said...

Hahaha so funny. My boyfriend IS the scaredy-cat when we fly, he's terrified of flying and will grip the armrests until his knuckles turn white!

Newlywed Next Door said...

Hahahah -- love this! I've definitely sat by most of these characters. Don't forget about the people who bring smelly food on the plane, the screaming baby... or even WORSE the persone who asks you "switch seats with them" so they can sit by their girlfriend/husband/mom/brother.

Ashley said...

Yikes! We leave Wednesday. I'll have to let you know if I run into any of these on our flights. Haha!

QueenBeeSwain said...

had a good laugh- I always get talkers who are smelly. you're kinder than I am to snorers- I find a way to wake them up! loud breathers should be added to this list too! uugghhh!


Anonymous said...

HAHAH! Those plane characters couldn't be more accurate... love it :)

tootie said...

Ha! This is too funny. I've sat next to some of those people, too.

And I'd one other one: The Perfume Lady. She's wearing enough perfume to make your eyes water during the whole flight!