To My Baby Bug,
One year ago, you entered the world.
A day I will never forget and a day I have replayed in my mind over and over again this past week.
I typically do this on birthdays. I get lost in my dreamlike "Birth Day Zone", thinking about those first few days and ever so poignant moments.
But this particular birthday milestone has caught me off guard. I feel a bit sad deep in my gut, like the wind has been knocked out of me.
I suppose it's because I'm not quite sure how one year went by so quickly. I wish I could start over and remember to stop every now and again. I want to beg and plead to my one year ago self to slow down and scream THIS WILL ALL GO BY PAINFULLY TOO FAST. I probably wouldn't have listened anyway.
I could have sworn I was just in that delivery room dozing off to Law and Order SVU with your dad, exhausted from hours of intense contractions. When all of a sudden the nurse came in and said, Ok, time to push!
I can still feel the intense adrenaline and dancing butterflies, so excited and ready to meet you. All I could think about was getting you out of my belly and into my arms, so ready to cozy up next to you and get lost in newborn land.
Before I knew it, both grandmas' gleeful squeals of Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness! were filling the room, and your dad calmly and matter-of-factly saying, Well, I won. (Which was his way of announcing that you were a girl.)
I couldn't get your naked warm body on my chest fast enough, and I was surprised as a heap load of emotions suddenly took over my entire being and forced me to bawl like a baby. Because you were here and more beautiful than I imagined. And a girl. Meeting you was overwhelming as you completed our family puzzle.
My heart had a mind of its own as it grew and expanded and smiled so hard, it hurt.
I really can't believe a year has passed since you graced us with your sweet spirit, calm demeanor and playful curiosity. The baby year with you has been so fulfilling and has brought me such joy.
I am thankful that you're a cuddler, easy going, and extra forgiving - even when I make you skip your morning nap or I forget your snacks/blanket/stroller/pacifier. You roll with the punches kid, and I have loved everyday since you've been born.
You have been my little buddy this year, happily going with me everywhere I go. You've been my coffee date tag-a-long, my co-worker in meetings, my partner in grocery shopping and errand-running, and even my travel side kick.
There are so many things I love about you and this moment in time.
You have the cutest evenly-spaced gaps in between your 8 teeth (I think?) right now.
You practically dive to give the most aggressive, slobbery, open mouth kisses.
You are finally starting to sign more. Thank goodness. Because meal time is the only time you are a major drama queen. Your teachers at school had to tell us to pack more food because you yell (loudly) when your food is gone.
You follow your sister everywhere, and she's not (always) the biggest fan.
You are busy. So busy that GiGi and Bots have to take a nap when you leave their house. And so busy that you can't stand even one second of changing your diaper.
You love peeking out the window. But you really love it when one of us is outside the window and waves at you. The giggles and happy screams are absolute music to my ears.
You still love to curl in a ball and lay on my chest before you go to sleep.
You love the dog water bowls, and we often find you soaked from head to toe.
Oh how we love you so, baby bug. I'm so thankful to be your mom and happy to be along for the ride of your little life.
Happy birthday, sweet girl.
XOXO
"I hope you don't mind that I put down in words how wonderful life is now that you're in the world."
"I hope you don't mind that I put down in words how wonderful life is now that you're in the world."