New Mommy Files: Breastfeeding Part II

I got lots of encouraging responses from Part I of this post.
Yay for all the super moms out there!
Breastfeeding or not.
Ya'll are my heroes.

Welcome to Part II.

Breastfeeding Part II: My Experience and Making it Work at Work

Well. Just about everything from the start of Lyla's life is a cloudy blur. All I know is that childbirth is intense, I went weeks without sleeping, life revolved around this tiny little human that completely depended on us for everything, and we had absolutely no idea what we were doing.

I'm serious, guys. No clue.

Whoever thought it was ok to release us from the safety zone of the hospital and into the wild of childrearing was crazy.

But we got through it.

Lots of trial and error. 

Lots of failing.

Lots of frustration.

And then deciding to exclusively breastfeed was no joke. 

Quite the responsibility. 

I can remember running a quick errand at the beginning and thinking, "What if something happens to me? I am the sole resource for my baby's life right now."

Scary stuff.
And pretty empowering, if you ask me. 

But let's take a closer look at the general experience.
Let's go back to the very beginning.

The Beginning: My Experience.

Luckily I had an incredible amount of support from personal cheerleaders.
My husband was and still is the most supportive person on the planet.
{He deserves an entire post}.
Both my mom and mother-in-law were very pro breastfeeding.
And many of my friends were a few steps ahead of me to show me the ropes.

I'm not sure how I would have...could have continued without the moral support.

Breastfeeding is hard.
Physically.
And mentally.

Especially when you haven't slept in weeks.
Especially when it is extremely painful.
Especially when your baby won't stop crying because she can't figure things out.

The very beginning was actually quite wonderful.
Lyla crawled right to me and began to nurse the moment the nurses laid her on my chest for the first time.
Just like we saw on the video in labor class.
I couldn't believe it!

Thank goodness my newborn knew what to do.
Because I sure didn't.

Insta-bond.
The most beautiful moment in my entire life.



Then, the second day of life.
Things got a little more challenging.

How do I keep this little gal awake to eat?
How often to I feed her?
How do I know if she's getting enough?
Is it supposed to hurt this badly?
Is it possible to die from exhaustion?

Luckily, you are in the safety zone of the hospital for a couple of days.
There are nurses.
And doctors.
And lactation consultants.

If I could go back, I would have used the lactation consultant more.
I just remember telling her that I didn't think Lyla was getting very much from my right breast.
And she had become quite partial to my left.

The LC chuckled and said, "All babies have a chocolate and a vanilla.Your right side is baby's vanilla. So you just need to start on that side to get her used to it and make her acquire a taste for vanilla!"

Then I remember having no clue when Lyla was hungry.
So I pretty much just nursed every time she cried.
In hindsight, that seems pretty ridiculous.
I'm not quite sure how I would handle someone sticking their boob in my face every time I was upset.
But it worked.
It was like calming magic.

Then, after about 2 weeks, we started to get into more of a "routine".
Well.
As routine as a newborn allows.

I started to follow more of a schedule.

But I also followed my mama instinct. 

If Miss Beans seemed hungry, I fed her.

Simple enough, right?
Heh.

Some of my super-organized friends kept things like spreadsheets.
Tracking how long baby nursed on each side.
How many poo and pee diapers baby had each day.
How long baby went in between feedings.

I think I recorded those things for about one week.
Then I forgot to jot down a couple of feedings.
And I thought Lyla went 3 days without peeing.
"Because it isn't showing on my handy-dandy app!"

Needless to say, recording every single feeding and diaper stressed me out.
As if I didn't have anything else to worry think about.
So I decided to eat the $5.00 I spent on the baby schedule app.

And ignorance was bliss.

A few other things I remember about the beginning...

• I had an excessive amount of questions. So, to lessen the obnoxious-ness, I alternated questions between 3 friends. And had them on speed-text. 
• Google has never seen the word "breastfeeding"typed into a search engine so many times. 
• I have a weird obsession with things being even. So I nursed for 10 minutes on each side. Every.single.time.
• Already mentioned this, but it hurt. And most LC's say, "If it hurts, baby isn't doing it right." Well, have you seen my Chunkin? She was clearly getting enough to eat. And it still hurt.
• The football position was the only one that worked for Lyla at the beginning. Nothing else.
• I was so paranoid about "nipple confusion" that I did not introduce a bottle or pacifier until 4 weeks old on the day. 
• The chair in Lyla's nursery rocker has become the most used piece of furniture in our house. It's where we share started our bond and have spent many hours. 
• We put Lyla in her crib starting Night #1. This means that I stumbled into her nursery to nurse her about 4 times a night. {Have I mentioned that I do everything the hard way?} I always envied those mamas who could just roll over and nurse while baby and mom fall back asleep. I caught up on work e-mails during that time. Because I'm crazy. 

Going back to work.

I absolutely need a post entirely dedicated to this topic. 
However.
After 7 months of being back at work. 
I am still not fully ready to share my emotions.

As if breastfeeding weren't hard enough, going back to work made it seem impossible.
I almost threw in the towel after one month.

And you know what?
Had I quit, Lyla would be just as happy and healthy as she is today.
And life sure would have been a piece of cake.
Or at least resembled more of a cake than the everything-but-the-kitchen-sink batter my life had become.

But I was committed.

I had to be.

Because things got very difficult.

I'm not one of those moms blessed with magic milk.
You know, the ones who have an overabundance of milk supply?
That wasn't me.
I barely pumped enough milk for 2 bottles each day.
And I pumped all.the.time.

Then it seemed like my entire immune system shut down.
Nursing and pumping *literally* sucked the immunity right out of me.
That coupled with being a teacher who is around germy kiddos for 7 hours a day?
I was sick for 3 months straight.

Then, I subsequently got clogged ducts 5 times in a row.
These are no picnic in the park.
They are incredibly painful, annoying, and can turn into a nasty infection if you're not careful.
Heat, massage, and lots of nursing is the key to getting rid of these nasty guys.

And of course there were the never-ending tasks.
Cleaning pump parts.
Steaming bottles.
Freezing milk.
Storing milk.
Portioning milk.

Oh. And let's not forget the day I returned to work and discovered that all milk I express instantly turns sour.

After all of that nonsense, my stubborn will came in handy.
Because I was determined to make it to Christmas.
Then spring break.

And now here we are.
Summer vacation.
And I'm still going.
With plans to make it to the year mark.

Making it Work at Work. 

Most, if not all, women experience a major dip in supply when going back to work. 

So it can make things incredibly difficult if pumping isn't a top priority. 

{Or for some, if pumping isn't able to be accomplished at work}.

How did I personally make it work after heading back to teaching?
Let's talk logistics. 

• Economics 101. Nursing is all about supply and demand. Our God-given bodies know exactly how much milk to produce based on what the baby demands. So as a rule of thumb, I tried to pump as many times as Lyla ate while she was away from me. *And then some*. I basically pumped any chance I got because I really did not want my supply to dip. And I wanted my body thinking that Lyla was still an eating machine.
• Get a Running Start. I began pumping when Lyla was 6 weeks old. Call me a planner, or call me crazy. I like to think ahead. So, I slowly began pumping after a nursing session here and a nursing session there. And I'm a results kind of gal, so you can imagine my frustration when it took me 2 or 3 pump sessions to get ONE measly ounce. But I kept with it. And eventually I had a freezer full of milk. 
• Nurse.Nurse.Nurse. Just like anything else, nothing competes with the real thing. Artificial anything is never quite the same. This goes with nursing as well. A breastfeeding baby is so much more efficient than a pump. So, I made it a priority to rush home and nurse Lyla before after school meetings or other personal obligations...rather than skipping a nursing session and pumping instead. 
• All in a Day's Work. I really protected my pumping sessions at work. This can be incredibly difficult for some professions, teaching included. Because there is zero flexibility as a teacher. I often get the question how to make it work as a teacher. Well. In my case, I am lucky with my schedule. I was able to pump during my plan time in the morning and then again at lunch. 
• Anywhere. Anytime. There were times when I missed a pumping session due to a meeting, etc. But I always made sure to make up that pumping session. I quickly learned to swallow my pride and be willing to pump anywhere. I've been in quite the awkward predicaments on more than one occasion. 
• Become a camel. My kids were always so intrigued by how much water I consumed in a day. I took my giant post-partum hospital jug with me to school every day. And I filled it 3-4 times in a 7 hour period. That's an average of 100 ounces of water just during school hours. Staying hydrated is key because a lot of liquid is coming out!
• Keep it Clean. I started things off by vigorously cleaning and sterilizing my pump parts after each use. Then I got gross efficient. I *gasp* only cleaned my pump parts at the end of each day. I seriously could not keep up the maintenance. I was on a non-negotiable time restraint during my pump times. There just wasn't enough time to clean the parts too. But I thoroughly washed the parts each night with boiling hot water, soap, and a bottle scrubber. 
• Milk Hoarding. How did I store my liquid gold? I have a mini fridge in my classroom where I kept my pumped milk. Then I'd take it home and pour into milk storage bags. I currently *still* have an entire deep freeze of Medela storage bags full of milk.
• Number Obsessed. Being Type-A, I had to make a conscious effort to not become number-obsessed. It's so easy to get into the habit of, "Well, she's eating three 5oz. bottles at daycare, so I should be pumping 15 oz. while I'm at school." I never even came close to pumping that during my school day. Sometimes, I'd pump 6 oz. in my morning session, while other times I pumped 2 oz. It was very inconsistent. Eventually, I did get to a point where I was no longer pumping what Lyla was taking in. But that's why I tried to build a "cushion" with my morning and night time pump sessions. 

Last but not least, for all you visual learners, here is a peek at what my daily schedule looked like. 

*I did eventually take out the 3:40 pump session after a couple of months. And at the very end of school, I finally took out the night session.*

Daily Schedule.

6:15 Nurse first thing in the morning. 

7:00 Pump while eating breakfast/putting on makeup. 

9:30 Pump during plan time. 

11:50 Pump during lunch. 

3:40 Pump after school. 

4:30 Nurse.

6:00 Nurse. 

9:00 Pump Before bed. 

*I grew to really dislike my pump. Why? Because I saw (and heard) it more than my own husband and baby. Pumping is what nightmares are made of. There is nothing worse than getting in bed only to realize you still have to pump. Except maybe waking up 30 minutes early every morning just to pump. Seriously. I've never cursed something so much.

And after all that? 

My supply still suffered a bit around 8 months. 

I'm telling you.

This nursing stuff is no joke. 

But I'm fortunate enough to have a summer break. 

I'm able to catch up. 

And boost my supply again.

Plus I have a husband who packs my lunch, washes bottles, and pretty much reminds me daily that the sacrifice is worth it. 

So a big shout out to my main squeeze. 

And a second shout out to a really cute Chunkin. 

Who makes all of this worth it.

Seriously.
It is so incredibly worth it. 

****Today I'm linking up with a dear, longtime blog friend. She hosts BabyTalk Tuesdays, and I've linked up today. Go check her out - She and her little Kenley are just sweet as pie!

New Mommy Files: Breastfeeding Part I

I started this little segment back when Ly was 5 1/2 months old.
And had every intention of blogging somewhat frequently about specific new mama topics.

Not because I think I have the answers.
*That thought actually makes me laugh.*
But mostly because I wanted to document how I did things.
For myself.
To look back and think, "Definitely not doing that again."
Or, "What the heck were we thinking?!?!"

And simply to share my experience.
So that others don't feel so alone.
Or nut-house crazy.

Oh.
Is that just me?
Ok.

And I've had so many others reach out to me.
To share their personal experiences.
And to give me their advice.

That's what I just love about the blogging community.
So much support.

Anyway.
Now that I'm not devoting every smidgen of time and energy to 20 fourth graders, I figured it was time to get back into my New Mommy Files.

I've recently had several mama friends ask me questions.
About breastfeeding.
And how to make pumping work while being a teacher.
So that's exactly what I'm going to discuss.

Breastfeeding. 

And just like hitting a funny-bone-like reflex, I'm sure a few readers just skedaddled.

You win some.
You lose some.

I wish I did this post 6 months ago
Because there are so many details I dont' remember about the beginning.

But let's face it.
I was exhausted.
And had know clue what the heck I was doing.
Still don't.

But all the more reason I wish I would have documented it all.

I think I'm going to break this doosie-of-a-topic up into 2 parts.

Part I: The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly. 
Part II: My Experience and Making it Work at Work

Let's take it from the beginning.

Breastfeeding Part I: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

I think every woman who has ever tried to breastfeed should get a medal of honor.

Scratch that.

More like an all expense paid trip to Bora Bora.

For 3 months.

Now don't get me wrong. 

I am definitely not a whip-out-my-boob-anywhere-nurse-until-my-baby-is-7 kind of gal.

*More power to you if you are.*

I am incredibly modest.

And tend to take the more subtle route.

I think I've only nursed in public a handful times.

*With my handy, dandy hooter-hider of course.*

But if you ask, I will go on and on and on.

About why breast is best.

I'm pretty sure absolutely no one would argue.

Choosing to breastfeed your baby is hands-down the absolute best choice.

Even if it's only for a short time.

I mean.

Just google "benefits of breastfeeding."

You will get 7,980,000 search results.

Now. 

I have nothing against formula.
In fact, I've come very close to supplementing due to dwindling supply.

And past these baby years, no one even knows the difference. 

Can you imagine?

"Oh yeah. Todd's the best fit for our new tax accountant position. I hear he was breastfed as a baby."

Plus I personally know some women who really struggled.

Some who couldn't nurse at all.
And I'm sad because these mamas were too hard on themselves.

But now their babies are thriving.
And they have a bond with their babies that only mamas and babies do. 

I knew from the beginning I wanted to make nursing a top priority.
And I knew I was going to *try* to give it my all. 

Because with enough dedication and moral support from loved ones, most women can make it work. 

The following are just some of the things that kept me going throughout my breastfeeding journey.

The Good.

Why Breast is Best.

1. The perfect nutritious concoction for your tot. It's a complete blend of high-quality nutrients, vitamins, and minerals that cannot be replicated by even the most brilliant of scientists. And your milk actually changes as your baby grows to match his or her unique needs. It's like a custom-made mommy smoothie just for your baby. Too much? 

2. Warrior anti-bodies that protect from sickness and infection. I witnessed this benefit first-hand. At every wellness check up, our pediatrician said that Lyla was one of the very few babies in her practice that had not come down with at least one pretty-severe illness last winter. Ly has of course had a few colds, but she avoided hospital visits and breathing treatments. This was one of the worst seasons the medical community had seen in our area! Our doc attributed every bit of Lyla's immune system to nursing. 

3. An easy-access convenience store. "Is your newborn fussy, hungry, or simply needs some comfort? Try one of our handy-dandy automatic milk machines. Guaranteed to meet all your baby's needs without the hassle of waiting for a bottle. Anytime. Anywhere. Satisfaction guaranteed."  

4. Hello? It's Natural. 100% God-made. No artificial preservatives. Boobies have a purpose, and it ain't wet t-shirt contests. And women who don't plan to breastfeed still produce milk after giving birth. I'm just sayin. 

5. An unbreakable bond between you and baby. This in and of itself is a reason to breastfeed. The bond I share with Lyla is enough to make me melt right into a puddle of sap. It's something I can't even put into words. 1. Because I'll get emotional. 2. Because it's a phenomenon that I truly can't explain. Need scientific proof? Breastfeeding releases oxytocin. You know, that feel on-top-of-the-world hormone? So it just feels good. 

And I'd be lying if I said there aren't any superficial perks as well. 

*Pun totally intended.*

6. Better-smelling poos. Yep. It's true. Your breastfed tot's poo is quite pure, therefore smells sweet, not sour. For someone who uses cloth diapers and comes face to face with poo on a semi-regular basis, this one's a definite plus. 

7. Perfect baby skin. Everywhere we go, Ly gets comments on her perfect skin. And she had it even during the newborn phase. Partly thanks to Daddy's genes, partly thanks to Mommy's boobie juice. Everyone in the pediatrician office always oohs and aahs over Ly'as quote "perfectly pink baby skin"!

8. Makes you rich. Ok. Maybe not completely. But it does save you an incredible amount of money. Have you seen the prices of formula these days? Sheesh. Being practically the only thing left that's free these days, nursing is quite friendly on the ol' pocketbook. Steal of a deal I say. 

9. A Hot bod. Between brand new full-of-milk mommy boobs and burning up near 500+ calories a day, nursing practically morphs you into a Victoria's Secret model. Ok. Maybe in my dreams. But seriously? For the first time since fifth grade, I haven't had to watch what I eat. At all. Need someone to polish off your bag of SunChips? I'm your gal. Oh. Don't want to waste those 6 leftover cookies - I'm on it. Quite the change from eating like a healthnut 24/7. 

And of course there's two sides to every story...

The Bad & The Ugly

What the Breastfeeding Classes Didn't Tell You

1. Welcome to the hardest thing you will ever do. You think running a marathon/passing the bar/traveling to the moon is difficult? Try breastfeeding. Although things do get easier (until of course you go back to work), it is HARD in the beginning. And I had it easy compared to several of my friends. It's easily understandable why so many women give up after a couple of weeks. Between trying to get this tiny little newborn to learn to latch on and figuring out how in the world to increase milk production, it is one of the most stressful things I've ever encountered. *Yet most rewarding by a long shot.*

2. YOWEE. It hurts. So, close your eyes. Picture the most sensitive part of your entire body. Now picture taking a pair of sandpaper-covered pliers and squeezing/twisting/pulling that part of your body as hard as you possibly can. And then just once your wounds have just started to heal, take a really rough towel and start rubbing. Yes, ouch is right. Bottom line: it hurts. This is coming from someone who has had a drug-free natural childbirth. Yikes. Luckily, it only hurts like this for the first couple of months...for me at least. 

3. What life? If you decide to exclusively breastfeed, your life will revolve around feedings. Well. Even if you don't decide to breastfeed, your life will still revolve around feedings. Except with exclusive nursing, you don't have the option to let someone else take the night shift feeding. I woke every couple of hours for the first couple of months to feed my babe. And because I was adamant about not experiencing a dip in my milk supply, I to this day have never skipped a feeding (at least without pumping). I joke with everyone that my life consists of work and boobs. 

But as awful as they sound, the bad and the ugly are completely outweighed by the good.

And the good makes the whole experience worth every second.

Makes me happy and thankful that I've been able to keep it up this long. 

And I'd say Chunkin doesn't complain.

Next up in the Mommy Files:

Making it work when the going gets *really* tough. 

A.K.A. My personal experience.

Day in the Life: Working Mom Style

Finally.
A Day in the Life post.
I've seen this done on other blogs before.

And I thought it would be so fun to look back on one day.
I mean.
Because my life is obviously so incredibly interesting.

I've actually started posts like this multiple times.
But life always got in the way.
And the busy-monster took over.
*Surprise. Surprise.*

But now, the school year is starting to wind down.
Less meetings.
Less rigorous projects and assignments.
I've finished all my community service hours for JL.
State assessments are over.
And Lyla is in such a fun, easy stage (a.k.a. still not mobile).

So I finally did it!

I chose a fairly easy school day without any before or after school commitments.
A day where the calendar wasn't haunting me.
And a day where I wasn't feeling pulled in 12 different directions at once.

If you'd like the shortened version, here is a synopsis.
I work a lot.
My day revolves around teaching, pumping, and breastfeeding.
And I usually only see my Chunkin for a little over an hour each night.
{But you better believe I make every second of that hour count.}

So, here it goes.

A Day in My Life: 05-09-13 Lyla 8 1/2 Months Old

5:00 a.m. Gabe's alarm goes off. I'm pretty sure I whimper. Then growl. And instantly regret staying up until 1:30 a.m. chatting about nothing with Gabe last night.

5:40 Finally roll out of bed, stumble into the shower, unload the dryer, peek and see what my sweet hubby packed me for lunch, and get my pump ready.

6:00 Let the dogs out. Feed them. Sienna wasn't obnoxiously begging for her food today, so I decided to give her a little extra.

6:10 Take EmergenC - My lifeblood as a teacher. Gotta fight those nasty germies. 

6:15 Feel the morning butterflies - time to go wake up my Beansie! I love these precious morning greetings. Hehe. Looks like she got in a wrestling match with her stuffed animals. She reaches her little arms out. I happily oblige and scoop her up.

6:20 Nurse the babe, change her diaper, and stand in front of the closet with a blank stare on my face. Don't get me wrong. It's so fun to dress my girly girl. At least on the weekends. However, it's simply one more decision to make for the day. All I can think at the moment..."Why do you have so many clothes? Where the heck are the matches to all your socks? Do these stripes match those polka dots? FOR THE LOVE OF PETE, WHY HASN'T SOMEONE INVENTED BABY UNIFORMS?"

6:45 Pour my cereal with Lyla on my hip, head to the bedroom, put her on the floor to play with her toys. Crap. Where's her crinkle book? I'm already running a little late this morning. This ball and stuffed dolly will have to do.

6:50 Begin my first pumping session of the day while I eat  "organic" cinnamon toast crunch, brush my teeth, and put on my makeup. Ly sings and claps, and shakes her head to the beat of the pump.

7:15 Clean up. Pour milk. Mix milk. Freeze milk. Leave some milk in fridge. Sheesh. I practically need a third degree to figure out all this milk-mixing.

7:20 Put Ly on the bed. Start to get dressed in the outfit I laid out the night before. Ugh. I hate this outfit. I desperately need to go shopping. Why the heck is my entire closet stripes? Seriously. Everything I own...stripes.

So.
I settle for stripes.

7:30 Dogs start barking because GiGi's here to pick up Ly. I run around the house like a lunatic looking for my keys. *a regular occurrence*. Grab my teacher bag, lunch, pump, and water bottle. Throw some diapers in a bag to send to GiGi's, kiss my babe, double-check to make sure I have everything and head out the door.

7:38 Get a wave from Lyla. She loves "bye-bye". Mommy, however, does not.

7:53 I realize I'm going to be late for my 8:00 before-school meeting. Shoot.

8:01 Head down to the library for our staff meeting. Instead of a meeting, we just get instructions for how to pass/fail students in our electronic grade book system. Score! Check my mailbox. Make some copies. Say hi to my teammates.

8:23 My students will be here in 2 minutes. Why is it that every single morning I feel like I never have enough time to prepare for my day?

Savor the calm before the storm.

8:25 Bell rings. Greet my students. Pull one kiddo aside and remind him to never EVER get off the bus at a different bus stop without telling anyone. *He did this last night and it took us 40 minutes to find him.*
Greet some more kiddos. Explain morning work. Answer at least 6 dozen questions:
How many more points do I need to meet my AR goal? 
Did we have homework last night?
Where do I put *said* homework?(I want to answer, "The same spot we've put it the last 164 days this year").
When is the last day of school?
Why do you drink so much water?
Why did you put the wrong date on the board?

9:00 I love not having our tiered reading support this week. Things are much less rushed in the mornings...and one less thing to plan. Instead, I help kiddos on their area and perimeter problems and check to make sure they have sufficient supporting evidence explaining why an assigned force of nature is considered a "friend or foe".

**Sweet. I'm totally stoked that Gabe made iced coffee last night. I really need an extra pick-me-up this morning. Because of the aforementioned late night last night. Yikes.

9:25 Remind kiddos they need their recorders for music. Walk them down.

9:30 Plan time! Check my box. Go to the bathroom. Meet with my teammates for 10 minutes. Make a couple of copies.

9:45 I set up my pump and get to business. Stare at all the grading that needs to be done. I feel like it's taunting me. And the massive mounds of end-of-the-year paperwork on my desk aren't helping either. Oy. I have 35 minutes and must use this time wisely because it's all the time I'll have all day.

Should I plan for next week? Respond to e-mails? Grade papers? Input grades that are due next week? Order supplies for next year? Finish my inventory? Input my benchmark testing data?

Again. I don't do well with too many options.

So, I decide to gather my materials for our reading, math and science lessons for later this afternoon and respond to e-mails.

10:15 Clean up. Put milk in the fridge. How is my plan time over? Feel a sense of panic. Tell myself it will all get done eventually. Grab some more water. Pick up my kiddos.

10:20 I decide last-minute to do a mini Mother's Day writing assignment. After all, we have end-of-the-year reading benchmark testing today. So what the heck? Let's do something fun and easy for our mamas.
Besides.
I am one now.
And I want a sweet letter from Chunkin when she's in fourth grade.

11:00 Dibels Testing

11:50 Take kids to lunch. Go to the bathroom. Fill water bottle. Start pumping. Get a little caught up on grading.
Boo! I realize that some of my kids didn't do too hot on the probability portion of their math tests yesterday. Makes sense. I felt a little rushed in that lesson. Probably should have spent another day on it. Decide to give it back to my kiddos to correct.

12:12  Scarf down my lunch.

12:20 Pick kiddos up. Another score! It's computer lab day. So, I'm able to sit down and work on inventory and my purchase order for next year in between getting kids logged on. I decide on some storage and desk organization items. Mama is in some serious need of organization for next year's daunting transition to the common core standards.

1:00 Recess duty. Kids fight over who gets out in Four Square. Tell said kids that no one gets to play now.

1:20 Hand out a couple band-aids for a few cuts and bruises from recess.

Break out into Math Workshop. I'm still getting used to this method of teaching. Although it's fast-paced and a little overwhelming, I'm really liking it so far.
Today we're learning how to convert fractions into decimals and percents. I introduce the new math groups for this unit, explain today's math enrichment activity and game, then send the kiddos off to their stations. I meet with each group for 20 minutes.
Man. I could sure use more time with my first group. Fractions are tough! I make a mental note to use more hands-on manipulatives tomorrow.
Holy moly. Group 2 breezed through this lesson. I jot down to plan a more challenging project-type assignment for tomorrow.
*Differentiating lessons to meet the very diverse, individual needs of students is so necessary. And quite mentally and physically exhausting.*
I have to stop 2 or 3 times to remind a few students of "Math Workshop Rules".
Then, I punch a couple conduct cards for inappropriate behavior.

(Fourthgrade-itis is in full effect.
Come to think of it, so is teacher-itis.
Summer can't get here soon enough.)

2:40 Oopsie. Went over into science time. How is it already 2:40?

Review yesterday's lesson on how the earth moves on its axis...yada yada yada. Introduce today's mini-project: Constellation Finders. The kids are really excited to use these tonight - hopefully it's a clear sky.

3:20 Check planners. Pick up the room. Remind students of their homework for this evening.

3:25 Bell rings. Bus duty. Remind one of my students from last year to walk, not run.

3:45 Oh. There's my teammates. Finally some adult interaction. I didn't see them all day. Sad face. I blurt out, "Quick, make a fun face for the blog!"

And this pretty much sums up the response I get to most things I say and do (which often includes me randomly bursting into song and dance while we plan):

3:50 I remind myself that I have to pick up Lyla today. Must stay focused to get out of here early. Quickly organize the benchmark testing data. Input scores. Print charts. Eh. I'll deal with the rest of this tomorrow.

4:00  Prepare tomorrow's morning work, planner, math stations, and science investigation.

4:30 Force myself to leave early today. It's time to go see my babe!

5:15 Get to GiGi's. I'm greeted with that bottom-toothed grin, clapping, and bouncing so hard, she nearly falls over.

 5:20 Nurse the babe.

5:35 Load up Lyla and head home.

6:00 Get home. Lyla starts rubbing her eyes. Boo. I was hoping she'd stay awake a little later tonight since I've barely seen her. :(

6:05 Plop her on the bed to get a little laundry put away.

6:10 Bath time with Chunkin! Bath time is Daddy's job. But Daddy's working late tonight. So, I get to scrubbing the babe. How in the world does Gabe do this? She's so slippery. 

6:17 Throw some diapers in the washing machine.

6:20 Time for last feeding of the day. Eight and a half months, and Sienna still feels so displaced. We love you too, Burt. Promise!

6:40 Say goodnight prayers and smother with smooches. Put Ly down. She starts playing with her teddy bear, Brit.
*Dad will be excited to hear this. Brit was his stuffed bear brought to him from Britain when he was little. He kept sneaking it into Lyla's crib, and I would take it out. Nothing against Brit. He just doesn't match the decor. But he somehow kept mysteriously appearing in the crib. Now, he's just a permanent fixture.

 6:45 Dinner time. Scavenge around. I guess I'll have to settle for leftover veggies, blueberries, and a California Pizza Kitchen pizza. Mmm.

7:00 Clean up the kitchen, put more clothes away, put diapers in the dryer. Ask myself why we do cloth diapers again? Don't get me wrong. I LOVE cloth diapers. Except on laundry day. Which just so happens to be every other day.

7:15  My favorite part of the day: washing bottles and pump parts {insert sarcasm. a lot of it}.

7:30 My Love is home! Sit down for the first time all day. Chat. Catch up. Talk about how much we miss Chunkin and want to wake her up. Decide not to wake her up.

8:30 Respond to personal e-mails. Blog. Pin. Jot down a couple of lesson plan ideas.

9:15 I may have about 45 things on my to-do list. Screaming at me to get done tonight. But I head for bed instead. I've averaged about 4 hours of sleep all week. I'm in desperate need of a good night's rest.

9:30 As I start to drift off, I realize how much I miss Chunkin.

5:00 a.m. Gabe's alarm goes off. And we start the whole routine over again.

Weeks 36 & 37: Cuddles

Weeks 36 and 37: 04/21/13 - 05/04/13

Sweet Beansie.

I know it goes without saying.
But you have completely stolen my heart. 

Every last morsel of it.

I'm feeling particularly bonded with you lately. 

You've really become quite the mama's girl. 

Well, a Daddy's girl too.

You are just an all-around family gal I'd say.

But you've been a little more needy for your mama the past couple of weeks. 

Lots of cuddling on my chest...which you haven't done since the newbie days. 

And I swear you're saying mama again. 

It's still more of a "maaa-maaa-maa-maa".

Usually when you're upset.

And when you need your mama. ;)

Plus. You reach out for me all.the.time.

But the best?

The moment I walk in the door from work every night.

You gasp, give the cheesiest grin, and start clapping and bouncing up and down. 

Best part of my days.

By far. 

You've been such a little cuddle bug.

I think it's because I've been so busy the past 2 weeks. 

Like a hurricane. 

One giant, chaotic storm of busy. 

Something every night of the week.  

Even a few before-school meetings. 

And even an out-of-town trip. 

And several sleepless nights. 

But just 2 more weeks. 

And then it's you, me, pool time, long walks, and crafting.  

*And a lot of work to prepare for Common Core next year...duh-duh-DUH.*

But lucky for me, you're a professional napper. 

And I hope to get a lot done while you snooze. 

Without 20 other kiddos receiving every ounce of energy I have. 

And no more long nights dedicated to lesson planning.

Or grading. 

Funny. I can actually do work when I don't have to work. 

Another reason I'm counting down the days until summer?

Because breastfeeding has gone from extremely hard to nearly impossible. 

My supply has dipped.

A lot. 

It feels like I see my pump more than you.

Probably because I do. 

And in just the last two weeks alone I've pumped in the parking lot of the zoo *on the busiest day of the year*, my school parking lot, our school counselor's office, in the car while driving to meetings, and in a friend's bathroom while getting ready for a bachelorette party. 

But I'm only producing enough for about 1 1/2 bottles. 

All of that work.

For not even 2 bottles. 

And all of those horribly awkward situations. 

Not to mention the time commitment.

The life of a working, nursing, pumping mother...

Holy hard work. 

How in the world have I kept this up?

Luckily, I have a ton of frozen milk. 

We're still going through frozen bags from January. 

Which means we can totally make it another 2 weeks. 

And then no.more.pump.

Just you and me. 

And we will *hopefully* make it to the year mark. 

Or at least really close. 

So worth it. 

And for the record.

I'm totally enjoying this sweet little clingy phase.

Because it makes me feel like one special mama.

Life of a Working Mama

Well, Chunkin.

It's 10:24.

Exactly one hour and 24 minutes past mama's bedtime.

That's right.
I *try* to go to bed by 9:00 every night.
Which gets me 8 hours of sleep, seeing that I get up at 5:00 a.m.

But I've had 2 cups of coffee.
In an attempt to stay up and prepare for my planned observation next week.

I've worked nonstop since you went to bed at 6:15.
Over three hours.

This seems to be a recurring theme the past couple of weeks.

Because, let's be honest.

Long gone are the days of simply passing out worksheets and popping in videos.

*Makes me want to sucker-punch anyone who tells me that it must be nice to work 8-4 and have summers off.*

Ahem.
Excuse the violence.

Besides.
I've decided to have a positive attitude, remember?
Going to work with a purpose.
Making it better.
Making my students better.

For me, this means giving my all to my job.
And still trying to balance work life and home life.
To love my job, but leave work at work.

Not so possible when you're a teacher.
Can't do your actual "work" until the work day is finished.
Because during the work day, you're a bit preoccupied with a little thing called students.

In other work news, my worst nightmare finally came true last week.
I say "finally" because it was inevitable.
Especially when you're me.
And have been blessed with my "luck".

Of course it involves pumping.
Because the pump and I have a love-hate relationship.
I hate the pump.
And the pump loves to torture me.

I was in an important meeting during my plan time.
Plan time = pump time, FYI.

I started to panic as the meeting started to run over.
I knew someone was covering me until I could return to my classroom.
But all I could picture was 20 antsy fourth graders testing the limits while Mean Mrs. Green was away.

I was also very aware that I still needed to pump.
Badly.

More panic.

I asked our super-understanding counselor if I could borrow her office.
I normally pump in my classroom during plan time.
But, my heavens, I couldn't do that with 20 fourth graders in there.
Because my meeting ran over, remember?

I knew I'd have to make it a quickie.

So, I locked both doors.
And started my business.
I texted Gabe to tell him how crazy my morning was.
And how awkward I felt to be in an unfamiliar office.
Doing something so personal.

Then.
The door handle started to rattle.

Holy-hyperventalation.
I yelled, "Someone's in here."

And held my breath.

Then, I heard a key.
I yelled, "PLEASE DON'T COME IN".

Three times.

And what do you know?
In waltzes my principal.

It took her a minute to fully comprehend what was going on.

She immediately turned around and said (at least a dozen times),
"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry".

Absolute horrification.

I'm not so sure which party was more mortified.

On the positive side?
She's a woman.

But still my boss nonetheless.

And my evaluation is next week, remember?

Sigh.

Life of a working mama.

Good thing you're cute, Chunkin.

Mom's gotta do what Mom's gotta do

I'm sure yesterday wasn't the last time I reach the point of desperation.

The point where I'm so frantic.
So panicked.

Where I have to think on my toes.
Problem solve.
Strategize.

Do whatever it takes to get the job done.

Even if it's ridiculous.
Embarrassing.
Crazy.

Yesterday, I reached that point.

My mind was in a thousand different places this week.

I was just getting over being terribly sick.
And Gabe was out of town for the week.
And I have an *almost* 4 month old.
Who decided to stop sleeping.
And I'm a workin' mama.

Too much to remember.
Plain and simple.

So yesterday.
I get to school.
I'm in a fabulous mood.
Because Lyla had slept through the night for two solid nights.
And it was Friday.

So 9:30 rolls around.
My plan time.
This time is crucial for a teacher.
Especially one who is a breastfeeding/pumping mom.

I have my pumping down to a science.
I know exactly how long it takes.
To drop off my kids.
Lock the door.
Get my parts set up.
Pump.
Get a little work done.
Clean up.
Pour.
Refrigerate.
Make sure I haven't left any evidence on my desk.
Pick up my kids.

Well yesterday, I was feeling confident.
I had a meeting with my teammates at the beginning of plan time.
Giving myself exactly enough time to pump before picking up my kids.

Well.
I got back to my classroom.
And realized I forgot all my pump parts.

Insta-panic.

I frantically ran to my teammates and asked them what I should do.
They assured me they could cover for me while I ran home.

But I live at least 15 minutes away *on a good day*.
That's 30 minutes of drive time alone.
Plus a 20-minute pumping session.
Plus 10 minutes of getting set up/cleaned up/getting "dressed".

How was I going to do this?

So I sprinted to my car.
Brainstormed.
Remembered two friends gave me a car-charger at a shower.
*Thank you Lora and Ali*.

Got home.
Left my car running.
Ran inside.
Got my parts.
Busted open the car charger.
Got back in my car.
Assembled the parts.
Slipped on the "pumping bra".

And then, my friends,
I pumped the entire way back to school.
In the car.
While driving.
While breaking *15 kinds of laws*.
Pulled into the school parking lot.
Cleaned up.
Sprinted back to my classroom.

29 minutes.

I felt like SuperMom, I tell ya.
Or SuperTeacher.
Or both.

All I have to say is Lyla better not ever go through an "I hate my mom because I'm too cool" phase.
Because clearly, I have no shame in doing things that are incredibly embarrassing.
And I will use that weapon, when necessary.

The things we do for our kiddos.
Right?

I mean, look at this kid.
She's gotta eat.
Clearly.

After all, she's our Chunkin.