Newbies are my favorite

So here I am. Having the greatest morning with my girls - something that is either hit or miss these days - and ready to gush about the fuzzy newborn phase here on the ol' blog.

But somewhere along the way, I forgot that having a baby toddler throws all plans out the window. And makes a routine-focused, schedule-oriented, type A gal like myself want to shave my head and run around the block a few times. At least that would be something I would have complete control of. And I would get some much-needed fresh air. 

Anyway, having a new baby {and a two year old} is just a roller coaster of emotions to begin with. It's all "Oh my goodness you're so cute, and I want this moment to last forever and ever" and "Seriously? We've been trying to get out the door for an hour now, you're already on outfit #3 for the day, I just got on all 4 layers of winter gear for both of you, your sister has to go potty, and you choose now to spit up all over all three of us?"

If you haven't read this article yet, stop what you're doing and read it now. The whole thing. And if you've ever had a newborn, you will laugh until you cry. Because it is true. Every single bit. I'm just waiting for her perspective on a day in the life with a newborn AND a toddler! :)

Anyway. Where was I? So my girls and I were having the greatest morning. I actually had the energy to make a decent breakfast for Lyla, the three of us shared some cuddles, we had our own story time, and then went for a looong walk to the park. Oh my goodness the sunshine and chilly breeze never felt so good.



Then we got home. Lyla made it very clear with some shouts and stomping that she was hungry, and I couldn't remember for the life of me when I had eaten last. Needless to say, both of us were starving. While Lyla nibbled, and I nursed the baby, she had to go potty. So, I took her back to the bathroom.  {And let's be honest. It isn't nearly as simple as it sounds. Because Lyla is still having a wretched time pooing on the potty. So we go back and forth back and forth at least a dozen times with lots of tears in between. All to have her not go. The poor kid is terrified.}

When I returned from the 11th trip to the potty, I realized my plate was empty. I rubbed my eyes to make sure they weren't deceiving me. Nope. Plate still empty. The dogs had *somehow* gotten onto our dining room table and ATE MY LUNCH.

The whole thing.

They are so lucky I was having a good day with my two year old. Because all I did was yell some choice words and put them outside for a good long time. Oh. But I had thoughts of putting them up for adoption on Craigs List.

I wish I was kidding.

Then, of course, I felt guilty and was all "Oh doggies, I love you. It's not your fault. I realize your'e going through changes too. But you really have to start behaving."

But seriously ya'll. Do you have any idea how much energy it takes these days just to rummage through the empty cabinets and then actually make something for lunch...only to have it eaten by your dogs while your'e taking care of your toddler and newborn?!?!

But I did feel bad after my lashing. So, we kissed and made up. And I invited them on my lap.

Now that I've got that off my chest, I'm ready to talk about what was originally on my mind. Which just so happened to be newborn sweetness. Because here we are. Four weeks into life caring for a second newborn.

Ahh. The newborn phase. You either love it or you hate it. Or a little bit of both.

I mostly love it.

Ok, who am I kidding. I absolutely wish that I could go through the newborn phase at least a dozen more times before I leave this earth. Newbies make me realize the why behind families out there who are 19 and counting. In fact, I'd have a newborn once a year if I could skip labor, if said newborn had the super-human ability to sleep through the night on day one, and if I could skip the toddler tantrums and teenage angst.

They're just such marvelous, interesting, quirky, and hilarious little creatures.

I loved this phase with Lyla, and I love it with Adaline. Miss A, our precious little bug, has been such a delight from the moment we brought her home. She's so easy going, and just easy all around. Oh, and she's a cuddler. Yes - my last baby is a cuddler! Thank goodness. Because I'll be a little sad when she's no longer a newborn. Which, by the way, when are babies technically no longer newborns? Is it when they grow out of newborn-size diapers? Because we just hit that point yesterday. And I refuse to call Addie anything but a newborn. So if you tell me she's no longer a newborn, I'm going to find a way to squeeze her insanely long torso into a newbie diaper.

Newborns.

There's just something about their smell. Holy moly does the newborn smell get my pheromones going, or what. Gabe thinks it simply smells like dirty baby. I, however, would love to bottle it up and turn it into a perfume. I'm really not kidding. Call me crazy, but I think I'd make a fortune.

Oh and the little noises. Those sweet, quirky little noises that have Lyla asking if Baby Adaline okay? because she's never heard any other human making these noises. The tiny mouse-like squeaks, the grunts, the little sucking noise with the pacifier, and the snorts. Oh newborn snorts, how I love you.

Then, they have their distinct newborn movements. Gabe calls these movements "animatronic"- definition being "robotic devices to emulate a human or animal". And that's so completely accurate. Newborns have these robotic movements that seem so calculated yet so spastic at the same time. Lots of flailing limbs, head bobs, and of course the non-stop rooting. Love em' all.

They make me laugh, I tell ya. Like how they stare at the strangest things for hours - things like the couch cushion or the white wall. Or how they are so animalistic in that first latch on while nursing. Or how they have that "scare reflex" where they all of a sudden will throw their arms in the air while sleeping like something scared the bejeebies out of them. I catch myself laughing all day long.

Um. And can we stop for a moment and talk about the reality of how easy newborns really are? I mean seriously. You can put them in a chair, bouncy seat, swing, or any other nook in your house, and they will stay there and contently sleep for hours. I mean, my best friend's mom didn't come up with the term "neglect-o-matic", when referring to a baby swing, because she thought it sounded fancy. It's because you stick a newborn in any ol' spot, and they're happy. And you might unintentionally forget about them. Unless of course your newborn has colic, which my firstborn did. Then, you're screwed.

And call me crazy? But I actually get a twinge of excitement in the middle of the night when I hear those first cries before the BIG cry which means "Feed me right now no really right this very instant right now!" I look forward to the one-on-one time without the buzzing of a typical busy day. I mean sure, I have bags the size of golfballs, but this time period is short in the grand scheme of things. And I will sleep again. And once I do, I'll miss our middle of the night one-on-one encounters.

Oh my goodness, there's just so much cuteness. The unintentional smiles while sleeping, the little fists rolled into balls while nursing, the face perched on a hand while sleeping, the big stretches when first waking up, and the faces. Those sweet newbie faces. My personal favorites are the kissie-lip-pucker face, the catching-flies-while-i-sleep face, and the infamous scrunch face.

But my absolute favorite? The way they curl up into the fetal position, and snuggle up into that sweet spot between your shoulder and neck. Ahh. And you can feel the warm skin of their cheek on yours. Just a warm little ball of love. I could do that all day everyday for the rest of my entire life.

Oh. And fuzzy after-bath hair. That's the best.

Ok. I think that covers it.

But thank goodness I have a baby, you guys. Because all this talk of newborns is giving me baby fever over here.

Adaline, I just may squeeze you into newborn diapers for the next 6 months. ;)

Transitional State of Mind. {And thoughts on natural childbirth}.

Since I turned 27, I've been in a constant state of transition.

Never quite comfortable in my current state of mind.
Always prepping for the next stage of something.

Cross-country move.
New job.
New master's.
First house.
First baby.
New job.

But after three years, I finally feel settled.
And more content than I ever have been.

Yet still in a transitional state of mind.

I will never forget a conversation I had with two friends a few months back.
Both were in the process of building/completely renovating homes.
I giggled as they began throwing out home design terms by pegging one another's home styles as modern and contemporary.
So, I asked my personal experts what my home style was.
They actually seemed...puzzled.
They went back and forth, throwing out over a dozen terms.
But the only word I kept hearing over and over was transitional.

I nonchalantly pulled out my phone and googled transitional: passage from one form, state, style, or place to another.

So I'm basically in between styles.
My friends finally concluded that I'm transitional-contemporary with a hint of shabby chic and eclectic.

Huh?

What I did take from the conversation is that I am, in every sense of the word, transitional.

I can't make up my mind.
I like too many things.
I can't make decisions to save my life.
I quadruple guess the decisions I do make.
And I'm always in between...everything.
{Like pant and bra sizes}.

Take this exact moment in my life, for example.
I am at a definitive transitional time.
Stuck in between.
Between loving the idea of a sibling for Lyla and equally loving the idea of how easy our lives are right now...with one child.

It doesn't help that everyone all around me is pregnant, just had a baby, adopting, or trying for a baby.
My recent visits to see friends and their newborns at the hospital haven't helped either.
A place where snuggling these sweet newbies scratches my baby itch plenty, yet not quite enough.

After these visits, I usually leave with a slight twinge of panic.
Like holy smokes can I handle all of that again right now?
Sleepless months nights, breastfeeding, pumping, dozens of dirty diapers, crying *and lots of it*, and nothing but laundry and dishes all day every day.
Oh my goodness, but then I immediately remember the constant cloud of mommy-bliss for the first two months, the middle of the night snuggles, the intense bonding, the abundance of love, the teachable moments, the laughter, the fun.

And then I'm bombarded with the reminder of good ol' labor.

They say you forget all about labor after a year.
That way you are willing to actually go through it again for another.

Mmm.
I sure haven't forgotten.

The consecutive contractions one on top of another for what seemed like an eternity at home.
Contracting multiple times on the way to the hospital. Then again in the garage. Then again on the public restroom floor.
The uncontrollable shivering.
The point when I lost my mind. {Which was about the time I shoved Gabe's face out of mine and told him he had bad breath. Don't take it personally, Babe.}
Losing control of my body and being told not to push, even though my body was forcing me to - for three hours straight. *Which ironically was the "transition" phase of labor, in which case I learned after the fact that I had a much longer than normal transition phase. *Go figure*

But I also vividly remember feeling like Superwoman when it came time to push.
Hearing the resident say, I see a head...with lots of dark hair!
Going to a place mentally that I've never gone before.
Digging deep to find an inner strength I never knew I had.
Depending on my husband in a way that has made our marriage unshakable.
Holding my daughter skin-to-skin for the first time.
Eating an entire box of peanut butter crackers immediately after giving birth.
Discovering a kind of love for the first time that can't be described in words.

People often ask me if I plan to do another natural childbirth with a second babe.
I'd like to think that I will, but I also like the idea of a significantly more relaxed, pain-free childbirth.
But then I have a friend e-mail me with questions, telling me of her plans and reasons for a natural birth.
And I get excited about it all over again.

Every moment of my labor, no matter how painful, was absolutely beautiful.
Each contraction, a reminder that we were bringing a blessing into this world.
And there was just something cathartic about experiencing birth in a completely natural way, the way our bodies were meant to handle it.

And I love hearing others' birth stories.
I love how every labor is different, each birth unique.
All absolutely beautiful.

One of my long-time blog friends Kristin agrees as she has recently launched a new website dedicated to new mamas. And I was honored when she asked me to contribute Lyla's birth story.

The best day of my entire life. 

Go check out my featured story and other fellow mamas' stories here !!!

Newborn Pics

I've been meaning to post these for awhile now.

But things keep coming up.

You know, life with a new baby and all.

We had such a great time with the wonderful Ali Moore who does all of our "family photography" and is also a very good friend.  We were so pleased with how they turned out!

A good time had by all.

Lyla was 5 days old.

And I was incredibly nervous because she was not being a very good sleeper at the time. She had a rough night the night before.

But she slept for 4 hours straight.

We used a little heater and a sleep sheep to keep things nice and cozy for the babe.

We nudged her. Poked her. Moved her. Positioned her.

And she didn't budge.

We also realized that she had diaper rash. Her little bum was so red. :(

And Gabe was pretty darn nervous about getting naked pics of the babe on our love seat. She was due for a poop at any moment. So what you can't see, is Gabe standing off to the side with a diaper ready to dive in and catch anything that started to rumble. Heehee.

Check em' out for yourself. So sweet.

We survived.

Little Chunkin survived her first visit to the ER this weekend.

**It's actually probably more accurate to say Gabe and I survived Lyla's first ER visit.**

I must say, I was surprisingly more calm than I imagined.

That's not to say that I was actually calm, just calmer than I imagined...rushing my 3 week old baby to the hospital.

The story goes like this...

We were hanging out in our yard because our "backyard neighbor" was dying to hold the babe. He held her for a few minutes, but she was superbly fussy because, well, Chunkin's gotta eat.

So.

He gave her back to me.

I turned around to go back inside.

Stepped on a nail in our garden bed.

The sucker went right through my shoe.

I tripped and fell over.

Right into a fence.

And my sweet newborn's head got the brunt of my fall.

A golfball-size goose egg began immediately forming on her little head...and it turned purple. Lyla began screaming. Gabe took her from me, and I just started sobbing. And sobbing. Words can't describe how hard it is to see your baby in so much pain.

We went inside, and I sat down to try to feed her while Gabe called our pediatrician. Lyla would eat for a minute and then start wailing. And although desperately trying not to, I was crying too.

Gabe, per usual, was extremely calm and kept reassuring me that babies are resilient and kids bop their heads all the time.

Then, he turned insta-serious once he got off the phone with our pediatrician.

He looked at me and said, "We have to go...now."

The doctor told him that we needed to go to the hospital for a possible CT scan to ensure there was no internal bleeding or skull fracture. (Since the bump was so large and had turned purple so quickly...and since she is so young).

My heart literally sank.

I sat in the backseat and held my baby's hands while she cried and cried.

And I was praying. Hard. Begging God to please protect my baby and please not let there be anything wrong with her brain. I kept trying to pray the fear away. Kept realizing this situation was completely out of my hands.

Gabe stayed silent. And I knew he was scared. I also knew the thoughts that were swarming his mind. Because they were swarming mine as well.

We felt so helpless.

We got to the hospital, and they took all her vitals while she continued to cry.

They checked us in *fairly* quickly...although not quick enough for a terrified mother and father.

After waiting awhile, Lyla finally fell asleep in my arms. Then the doctor came in, examined her, poked her bump a little too hard for my liking (I know he was just trying to help...but ouch!), and asked us a bunch of questions.

Finally, he told us he was 100% certain there was no concussion, no head trauma, no skull fracture, and really no concern. The fact that 1). Lyla cried immediately after the hit, 2). She ate after the hit, and 3). She eventually fell asleep were all signs that guarantee no concern. Plus, it hit her in a "good" spot where there is unlikely to be a concussion. And, ironically, the fact that she is a newborn helped her because her skull is still so soft and is less likely to fracture.

I began crying...again. But this time, I was crying out of relief. And gratefulness.

The doctor came over and grabbed my hand and said, "And I hate to say it, but this is one of many head bumps and trips to the ER."

I sort of laughed. And I knew he was right.

We all breathed a sigh of relief.

I thanked God the entire ride home.

And I realized that we have absolutely NO control over any situation with our daughter. Like the doctor said, there will be many scares, many challenges as a parent. I must relinquish full control to the Lord. And I must trust that he has her in his hands.

He's got the whole world in his hands, right?

The thought of surrendering your little one is terrifying. Especially if your'e a control-freak like me. But it is also comforting at the same time.

But I am so thankful that we came out of this situation A-OK.

And, hey, at least we got our first major scare out of the way just three weeks in to this whole parenting thing!

Exhausted after a long, traumatic day. So innocent. 

Psalm 31:14-15 
“But as for me, I trust in You, O LORD; I say, “You are my God. My times are in Your hand.” 

Psalm 59:16
“But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.” 

Week-3-In-Review: Getting to know you

Week 3: 09/02 - 09/08/12

Now that all the hustle and bustle has calmed down, the frequency of visitors has decreased, and you've now been in our lives for 3 full weeks, we've finally settled into a routine.

And I say "routine" very loosely.

Because newborns can be unpredictable.

Last week for example, a quick errand turned into 2 outfit changes for you, one outfit change for me, 3 dirty diapers, two complete meltdowns (you AND me), and then us never even making it out the door.

But for the most part, we are on a schedule. Mama's pretty strict about this. We *try* to consistently follow the sleep-wake-feed schedule. And you do very well. Although sometimes, you really, really don't want to sleep. What can I say - you're a fighter. Luckily, this is usually during the day and you tend to be happy, not fussy.

Grams said I was the same way when I was your age - I never, ever slept. But I was happy.

Like mother, like daughter.

You have been sleeping like an angel this week. Last night you actually slept 4 1/2 hours straight. And you've gotten really good at going right back to sleep after night time feedings. Things are by no means perfect, however. You are still learning so much and have only been part of this world for 3 short weeks. I can't expect too much. At first you had your days and nights confused. But, I make sure to really make day time DAY - we play, sing, have tummy time, listen to music, make the house bright, and I never let you sleep longer than two and a half hours. (Mean mommy). And nighttime is NIGHT - no lights, no talking, you are tightly swaddled, and I turn on your sleep sheep. And *so far*, you are doing great.

But we've also discovered your "fussy time". Don't worry, most newborns have them. Yours is usually late afternoon or early evening. During this time, there is no consoling you. You just cry and cry. And cry some more. Sometimes, you just want to be held. Other times, you just want to scream. The worst is when your little lips curl down. Talk about breaking mommy and daddy's hearts.

It's a constant learning process. But, we're all in this together.


You are reeeally cuddly. After you eat, you really like to be around mommy and daddy or just look at everything in the new world around you. You are especially fond of walls and doors. And you really like to cuddle. The cuddly moments are my very favorite. I promise I'm savoring every second when we cuddle. But I'm not the only one who is really loving the cuddles...

You had your second doctor's appointment. You now weigh 8 pounds and are 21 inches long. You grew 2 inches in just one week. Holy Schmoly! And the doctor says your coloring is "perfect", as most babies typically have a touch of jaundice and you have none. (This is because you are my little piglet and eat so well). And she was incredibly impressed with your He-Man strength. She couldn't believe how long you could hold your little head up. I told her that you are a determined baby. She said you'll be rolling over by month 1. Let's hope not...

It really has been so fun getting to know you better this week.

You really love your Vitamin D drops. We give them to you every night before bed. You LOVE them. They are cherry flavored, and you quiet right down after we give them to you.

You're starting to really love bath time too. You hated it at first, but now you look forward to it. It's so cute how much the warm water soothes you. But you especially love the warm cuddles that come afterward.

You are quite the social butterfly. Not sure who you get it from. ;)

• But this week, you went on a playdate with three other babes: Cal, Maddie, and Henry. So fun! 
• And, you went to your very first birthday part - it was for Cousin Autumn. I was so proud of myself. All the little kids wanted to hold you...and I let them. (While only having minor heart attacks.) 
• AND we had our first girls' night with Grams. We all cuddled on the couch and watched Steele Magnolias. Tear.Jerker.

Since you've come into the world, you've made Mommy and Daddy super emotional. Yes, I said Daddy too. Let's be honest, Mommy cries at everything now. Everything. And we started watching this *amazing* show on Netflix called Parenthood. I cry in every single episode. The other day, I looked over and even Daddy was tearing up. You've made him a big ol' softie, Chunkin.

It's been so fun getting to know you better, Baby Ly. We love you so much.