Pick Your Title - You WON'T believe this

"Seriously?"

"Is this real life?"

"Judgement Day: May 2011"

"Rhode Island: The small place where BIG things happen"

Any of the above titles will suffice, really.

Because all of these words came out of our mouths this past weekend. Multiple times.

What happened to us only happens in the movies, specifically the movie Bridesmaids.

It felt like a really crazy dream where we kept pinching ourselves to see if what was going on around us was truly happening.

And now, we are all famous. In fact, our story was just on the news.

This is how the story goes (Warning: Details get a little graphic)...

May 21, 2011: Wedding Day of our Dear Friends

6:30 a.m. - I wake up because the bed moved abruptly. I see Mr. Ruby sprint out of the guest bedroom where we were staying. He was in the nude. I giggled to myself and thought, "Why the heck is he running into the hallway naked?"

6:32 a.m. - I check my text messages. I realize I've received two in the middle of the night. One said, "Are you guys sick? We have been puking and pooping all night. I'm pretty sure it's food poisoning." I read the other text, "I just pooped myself, please tell me you don't have this too."

6:37 a.m. - I run to the bathroom to check on Mr. Ruby. He's been in there awhile. I ask, "Hon, are you not feeling well?" He replies, "I'm ok". And I say, "Well, I think all of our friends are sick, they've been puking all night." He sighs with relief and yells, "GOOD. Because I just puked my brains out."

6:38 a.m. - I realize we have a very serious problem.

6:40 a.m. - I run into our friends' bedroom to ask if they are sick and if they've received the text messages. Yes they received the texts. No, they were not sick...yet.

6:41 a.m. - Mr. Ruby emerges from the bathroom looking like death.

6:45 a.m. - Our phones start blowing up. We are all on the phone talking to different members of the wedding party. Everyone has been up all night deathly ill...including the groom.

6:50 a.m. - Mr. Ruby runs to the bathroom again.

6:51 a.m. - Mr. F (host of where we were staying), states that he all of a sudden doesn't feel well. Mrs. F chalks it up to staying up too late and drinking too much.

6:52 a.m. - Mr. F runs to the bathroom.

6:53 a.m. - I run to Mrs. F and yell, "Hold me" as we were the only ones at this point not ill. We both look at each other and say, "Is this really happening?"

7:00 a.m. - All the girls, including those who were very sick, headed to the salon to get ready for the wedding festivities.

The rest of the morning/afternoon was spent running around getting gatorade, Immodium, and taking care of poor Mr. Ruby and Mr. F as I was not in the wedding party nor was I sick. One would get up, sprint to the bathroom, and spend a good 20 minutes getting everything out of his system. Then, the other one would turn, look at me, and run to do the exact same thing.

This happened about 30 times that day.

Both were literally green.

Neither could keep a thing down. Including water.

The house smelled like 45 rotting corpses.

A couple of times, I thought I might need to take the boys to the hospital. Things were looking grim.

The situation at the salon wasn't looking any better. The girls who were sick had to make multiple trips to the bathroom. Neither could stand. Both were dizzy. Both had been up ALL NIGHT. Not a wink of sleep.

But everyone rallied. Everyone did their best to make the wedding a spectacular event. And they did a fantastic job. The maid of honor gave an amazing speech, despite her lack of sleep and torn up insides. The groomsmen made it down the isle...well, most of them at least. The boys had to go downstairs to lie down every 15 minutes. One groomsman didn't make it down the isle. Mr. Ruby left during the vows...and didn't return to the wedding at all. But everyone tried their best and did a darn fine job all things considered.

Believe it or not, this was the shortened version.

Let's just say everyone was REALLY sick. Scarily sick.

The next day, we discussed the situation. We just figured it was the rehearsal dinner from the previous evening. But the more we talked, the more we realized that out of 30 people, it was too much of a coincidence that only our group of friends got sick and no one else from the rehearsal dinner. And we had all eaten at a sushi restaurant the night before (24-30 hours prior to everyone getting sick). The only weird thing about that is that I also ate off the SAME plate as everyone who got sick, and I did not get sick.

We called the department of health to report the incident.

A couple of days and stool samples later, and we've come to a final conclusion.

Today: May 26, 2011.

The samples were tested positive for the Norovirus.

And the restaurant we ate at got shut down.

And this will all be on the news this evening. The groom's mother was interviewed.

The reasons found by investigators? Are you ready for this?

• Mouse droppings were found in flour, jimmies and noodles and on the doilies on which sushi is served.
• Vinegar was being stored in container previously used for laundry detergent.
• Rice was kept at room temperature in a turned-off cooker.
• The restaurant does not employ a full-time manager certified in food safety.
• A microwave had dried food accumulation.
• Tubular lights were lacking shields
• Scooters, toys, powder and wipes were found in the kitchen area, suggesting that a child was allowed in the kitchen area and diapers were changed there.

Oh, and three employees were tested positive for the norovirus.

See the full article here.

The following days after the sickness, we all began to laugh about it. That's all you can really do. It's just a terrible shame it all happened right before our friends' wedding. Hopefully one day they can look back and laugh too.

But we are all still trying to process the situation. Rat poop? Baby diapers. Oh. my. goodness. I'm never eating again. Ever.

The ominous dinner.

I know this is exploitation. But I had to document the sheer rawness of the food poisoning.

And apparently I have a stomach made of STEEL. How did I not get this?!?!