After I write these posts, I quickly delete them. Although venting is such a good stress release, I always feel so guilty about having documented information on the world wide web about someone else's child.
However, today, all bets are off.
I just got fired.
I just spent the last two hours crying, yelling, thinking, reflecting, and now I am just plain angry.
Let me do a (small) re-cap of the past 6 weeks:
- I first meet mom and Demon Child (DC). DC proceeds to interrupt us throughout the entire conversation. Mom does nothing. (First warning sign).
- My first day. Mom tries to get DC to eat healthy. DC throws temper tantrum. Mom gives DC sugary treats to calm her down.
- End of first week. I have been told "NO" at least 3 dozen times. DC said "no" to: brushing her teeth, picking up her toys, getting her shoes on, and going to time out.
- Have meeting with mom. Ask how they prefer me to handle discipline. I am told time out is ok, but sometimes DC does not stay in time out. Oh, and she doesn't like to put away her things. (Yes, this is all that I am told).
- Second week. Multiple temper tantrums. DC kicks dog. DC kicks mom. Mom and dad cuddle DC and calm her down by telling her she can go play with her brand new scooter.
- You get the point. The above repeats and continues even until today (unexpectedly my last day)
This made her very angry. She locked me outside. For twenty minutes. She finally let me in and proceeded to scream and kick for 45 more minutes.
I called mom. Told her the situation. She was embarrassed and apologized, but then chuckled and said, "I guess you're getting a taste of what it's like to have children". (Riiiiiight).
I then told the mom I was a big supporter of positive reinforcement. I asked if she would mind if I implemented a good behavior chart. DC could put on stickers if she obeyed the rules every day, and after getting 10 stickers - we could get a treat of her choice. The mom said she loved the idea.
The last two weeks, the chart was doing wonders! DC was actually listening and got so excited to put on a sticker. She made it 6 days in a row without one hint of bad behavior.
Then last Friday, she had a major temper tantrum. So, no sticker.
Today was a good day. I told her to pick out a sticker. She secretly put on two stickers. I caught it and said, "No, you only get one today...you know you can't have one from Friday because of your tantrum." So, I took off the other one.
Tonight, my phone rings. It is the mom. Nothing has ever caught me so off-guard. This was our conversation:
Mom: (Getting right to the point) Hi, I just wanted to let you know, I don't think things are working out. You know, some people just handle children differently. Sometimes, people just aren't ready to deal with children. So, I think we're going to have to part and go our separate ways.
Me: (Literally choking back tears) Umm...Ok???
Mom: I will pay you for the full week, what is your address?
Me: Sure, but can you at least tell me what happened? Did I do something wrong?
Mom: (Silence for a few awkward seconds) Well, honestly, we thought the behavior chart was a bit much...and you did implement it extremely soon. And then today, you actually ripped a sticker off the chart? I mean, that's very harsh for a child. We just didn't think that was appropriate.
Me: That's not what happened, but that's neither here nor there. Here's my address.
Mom: Good luck with teaching.
There are so many things I wanted to say. So many thoughts going through my mind. Like, "If you thought I was too strict, why didn't you tell me?" or "You TOLD me to use a behavior chart" or "Your child locked me out of the house for 20 minutes, and she doesn't listen to a word you say...but I'm the bad guy?"
Seriously?
More than anything, I am just so mad that they broke up with me before I could break up with them.
19 comments:
OH NO! I'm so sorry! That family is messed up, and honestly, from my experience, it's better to be working for families that model good discipline practices (or at least not horrendous,) than for bad ones. Besides, you deserve a better job.
Honestly? That family is horrible sounding and you deserve so much more than that. You'll get another nanny job with a hopefully better behaved child. This is a good thing, don't be upset!
Those parents sounded awful from the get go. They will get burned themselves tenfold. That little girl is going to have major problems with the lack of discipline and consequences. You will find something better and less stressful.
Oh my goodness! That is definitely not your fault - you did everything right! (In fact, I'm convinced that Supernanny on TV would say the same thing.) I hope you find a better job where they appreciate your talents!
I am so sorry! Those parents sound like the model of how not to raise children! They obviously have no control over DC. Just wait until DC reaches the dating years....lol.
And I thought your chart was a great idea!!!!! I am especially glad that you didn't give in to DC over the sticker from Friday. Good for you!
You definitely deserve a much better family. Good luck! Don't let this get you down!
if you broke up with them you would not have gotten paid for the whole week. You should tankgod(dess, sprit, darwin, nature) that they solved that problem for you and paid you to do it.
Good luck with another job. You sound like your great with kids so youll do fine.
Having baby-sat numerous children for the past 14 years, I totally and completely sympathize with you.. I've had angel children I didn't want to say bye to, and I've also had my version of a Demon Child who not ONLY locked me out of the house... but HID my shoes while I was outside and then wouldn't tell me or his parents where they were and I had to walk home in his mom's shoes. NOT kidding.. Honestly, that child is going to take complete advantage of her parents and you're better off not dealing with that whole situation! Sorry that happened so drastically :(
You did nothing wrong. You know that.
Just another lesson learned. :)
I'm sorry to hear that but you're likely better off. DC sounds terrible and the parents - O M G! Kids aren't born like that, parents MAKE them that way. You'll find a much better child to nanny, I'm sure!!
Oh dear...
Sorry Ang!! Seriously East Coast Coddlers of children!!! Uggghhh!
They deserve that child. Honestly its THEIR FAULT she acts that way anyway. I just can't believe they fired you OVER THE PHONE!
I mean seriously? Who takes the word of a child before discussing the events with an adult!!?! (who is more likely to tell the truth)
Whatevs. You deserve something with less stress. Deep breath and HUGS!!!
WHAT!!!!!!!! I literarily have to pick my jaw up off the floor. I'm so sorry to hear that this has happened :-( You're a teacher though, so you KNOW you were doing the right thing! They will know (sooner or later) that you're right. You're better off without them. OH MY.
Have you ever read The Nannie Diaries? Kind of makes me think of that horrible family-- she was the best nanny, did soo much for them, to be tossed out like trash, etc.
I hope you're doing okay... Ugg, what an ugly situation :-( Hang in there!
Yikes! You are SO much better off without that family, but I understand how incredibly aggravating it is that they fired you before you could tell them to shove it! But everyone else is right -- you wouldn't have gotten paid for the week that way, and I'd take a week's pay over a moment of feeling vindicated. :)
You'll find a better family soon! You sound like a great nanny, and you can definitely do better than those jerks!
You did NOTHING wrong and that mom needs to learn to get her kid under control. As a teacher, I see little snippits of this pretty often and it's amazing how kids act in my room and then how I see them act with their parents. They KNOW I won't put up with it!
That is beyond ridiculous! I once had a regular babysitting job with this four horrible Children of the Corn kind of kids, who had zero discipline. It was just horrendous! You deserve a better job!
i totally missed this. i am in utter, total shock. what a TERRIBLE CHILD! i can only imagine what's going to happen when this kid gets in her teens! CRA-ZY! you are better off my dear, hopefully you find some angel-child to nanny for and won't have to deal with DC any more. and good for you for posting about it. i HOPE her mom sees!!!
How awful! It's a little crazy how blind parents can by sometime due to the love they have for their kids. I have to say, the post reminds me a little of The Nanny Diaries. If you haven't read it, I would definitely recommend it. After what you just went through I'm sure you'd enjoy it
Wow, it sounds like that child is going to grow up and be the biggest spoiled brat ever. It sounds like the mother and father (if there is one because I don't know if you've mentioned him) feed right into the DC ways. I say good riddance. At least they'll pay you for the week and that stress will be out of your life.
Girl, you are way too good for these crazies and they do not deserve you. Chin up. Onto bigger and better things :)
ha i just found your blog but im laughing hysterically at the REDICULOUSNESS of this mother. does she really think that is what having a child is like...i certainly hope its not that bad for me!!! =) i think you totally did the right thing and youre lucky you got out of there so soon!!!
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